According to state law, yeah, it’s absolutely his responsibility.

Dude only decided to call the cops because they stiffed him on the tip. He had no problem with them walking out after 7 margs each.

I don’t really like her and I absolutely loathe her music, but that is seriously fucking hilarious. A+.

Never start a hot take with “as a Pats fan” - the whole world knows what is coming next.

I’m waiting for the day when it’s discovered that the Patriots have sleeper agents on the staff of every other team in the AFC.

I grew up in Rochester NY, home of the AHL Americans. Just once, when I was 13, I was able to sit in nice seats near the home tunnel area by the bench. As the game ended, a player looked me right in the eyes and handed me his stick, which was incredibly thrilling. I was a little big for my age, and probably looked…

Your age is showing, Junior.

An update for you, as a Pens writer myself- thus far the little guy, Trey, has gotten 2 pucks, a jersey, a stick, and last I saw was with the teams’ PR staff, apparently to head into the locker-room with them to meet the players from what I gathered. While the old guy was booed out of the arena right afterward and…

While I’d never directly steal a puck/ball that was intended for a kid, I always thought it was kinda BS how they always look to give it to a kid... I’d like a ball too. I made it through my childhood without the chance of sitting close enough to even have the chance. So now that I’m older I’m denied the opportunity?…

Knowing JPP’s talent, I’m sure getting those sacks will be a hell of a lot easier than counting them.

Absolutely the type of lady I’d like to meet!

So what you’re saying is she’s a ‘double threat’....she’d be fucking great at a party!

It was really a liability issue, combined with the age of the child. If something had fallen on him, if he’d fallen and hit his head, if he’d been kidnapped? We live in way too litigious of a society for my manager not to be super concerned about the possible ramifications of a small child alone in the store. Plus…

Does anyone know how to become a contestant on Shark Tank?

I’m grieving. Every year I can count on a picture of a crying kid in the Daily News when the Mets are officially eliminated. Now they might win the World Series, and more power to them, but I’ve grown accoustomed to seeing that kid. It’s like the Oscars ditching the In Memoriam segment. Sure, you aren’t rooting for…

You’re right...it’d only be fair, cubs fans were nothing but graceful after their wins in the wild card game and NLDS, so we really should try to—PPPFFFFFFT BAHAHAHAHA oh man, sorry, couldn’t finish that one with a straight face

Yes

This ad is everything I never knew was missing from my life.

In college a female friend of mine rented a full-body chicken costume (not sexy chicken, sports mascot chicken) and wore it with a sign that said "Love the Cock". She's almost 6 feet tall, but has a distinctly feminine voice. When we were walking to a party, some guy saw her costume and yelled his appreciation. When…

Halloween 2003 took place while I was in third grade,