My 11-year-old and I love love love it. (I’m 41 and obviously no hipster.)

I don’t know what you mean by “all-dressed chips,” but this is what I’m picturing. I hope you mean food. I do like my Timmy’s. And basically the idea of being in literally any other country right now.

Oof. Too relevant.

Of course they do good things and can be good people. It’s infuriating, however, when people use the diversionary tactic of pointing to demonstrations of kindness when it’s not the discussion at hand.

3. The victim has a police record!

What a lovely, sweet blessing of a man to treat the kids like his own. This is heartbreaking and senseless.

I’m just here to say Jack Dorsey looks UNCANNILY like Kirk Cameron, and I was about to quit Jezebel forever if he was in this column. That pic just about scared the shit out of me.

I can’t imagine what the boot and boot accessories budget will be if Trump wins. All those boots, all those bootstraps...

I know how you feel. Thank you for sticking around. Depression sucks, and I wish you all the best and all the hugs you need.

I know! The CGI is so bad it’s good!

I’ll watch basically any shark movie, even those shitty ones on SyFy. So I’m in, but I’m not rooting for a lady named Nancy Adams. Go, seagull, go!

TARP? Or TRAP laws?!? Ugh. I came here from AL, so I know alllll about that business.

The very definition of leadership. Fearless.

I was listening to him talk about “the gays” in Atlanta, and it was like when he referred to “my African-American” awhile back. Like he’s got all these little minority action figures in his pocket or something. It’s SO BIZARRE. And he can’t stop saying “the gays.” Like, just swap out “the LGBT community.” It’s not…

It’s sad commentary about the U.S. when people don’t expect 12-year-olds to write like this kid. My 11-year-old would express herself similarly, only about the merits of Sephora makeup over drugstore makeup or something along those lines. ;)

I totally agree but came here to say I LOVE your username because I’m a native of the Commonwealth. If I ever get on Match, I may plagiarize this. Haha.

I read somewhere (sorry, can’t google at the moment) that they pull gators out of that body of water on the regular. But a picture of a big reptile might scare off some folks, soo...No Swimming it is.