Early this morning a summer intern working on a sports marketing degree woke up to the pettiest, most insufferable email imaginable.

Rovell Daily Times’s slogan is “Self-Owned and Self-Owning.”

Hi Barbara!

SHUT UP HONEY

I guess it’s time to come clean. My wife has created multiple Kinja accounts just to reply to my shit with a “+1.” I had no clue until the other night over dinner she told me “Don’t eat too much. You owe me big for all of those Drew-Magary-as-Zordon +1s.” 

if you tell your wife confidential information about a health screen for a pro basketball player and she anonymously posts it on twitter, you get fired.

The trailer for the Chinese market contains dialogue around the superior quality of China’s optical and medical equipment exports.

The most interesting part will be how you interact with the ‘swarms’ and what kinds of interesting situations that might lead to compared to other zombie games. Hopefully there’s a survival slant to the combat so that stuff matters and you don’t quickly become overpowered.

Toothless is totally gonna bone his cousin.

THAT IS NOT HOW SEXUAL DIMORPHISM WORKS.

Truth right there, what a bunch of yellow journo knobs.

Well, they helped get Mango Unchained elected, so they deserve all the followup scrambling they get. You broke it, you bought it, bitches.

Every article posted on the gizmedia sites about Arpaio vastly understates just how utterly vile this man is. Every damn one. Even if trump had only pardoned him, that is totally unforgivable and a massive indictment of this administration. Arpaio is fucking evil - so much so that it takes a little searching to dig up…

Babies should never be murdered in cold blood. You should dribble a few drops of blood on the inside of your wrist to make sure it’s warm, but not scalding, before killing a baby.

“Democrats should not rationalize @ZephyrTeachout’s behavior - what if the NY AG was a Republican who ran on investigating President Hillary Clinton? We must not go down this road. The powers of prosecutors are vast and easily abused.”

Oh fuck right off. This already did happen. I’m not even a Clinton fan and even I…

He completed his sentence and therapy. In a lot of ways, he was the ideal case for rehabilitation of a juvenile offender. Him pulling the “I was innocent all along” makes him even less sympathetic than before, of course.

Walk Hard is criminally underappreciated. It might be the last big studio comedy that came out that I would truly consider great without feeling as if I have to explain myself. I liked Hot Rod, and that should probably get more love, but I don’t know if I can call it great.

Don’t all those teams have logos on their helmets, though?

I forget where I recently heard this - but apparently helmet stripes also have a utilitarian purpose. It allows coaches reviewing film (I’m assuming from an all 22 type angle) to see which way a player is facing - as the stripe stops at the face mask.

That horse can’t see any of those dudes.