I’m voting for the candidate whose ideologies most closely align with my own, in the hopes that a strong showing will be a message to future candidates that there is value in supporting true liberal policies.

I feel great about the election in one way: democrats are guaranteed to win. I feel sad over the fact that with a guaranteed win ahead, the party is not pushing left at all. As if if they go left the centrists will turn around and say, “Euro style healthcare?! We’re voting for the fascist!”.

I accept. Weed: one of many currencies accepted by irredeemable sluts. I would also accept bourbon.

Sadly it will just get your followed home by this guy:

No, implying that the dildo was on top of the pillow not underneath. Ted is the dildo in this statement.

Ooooh. Emblazon those words on some dildos and send them to Cruz!

Whenever I hear of yet another celeb taking dirty money from dictators/their brats, I secretly hope that it was coordinated with the CIA and we at least got some intel out of it. Would certainly make for a great movie in 40-50 years (Million Dollar Spy: The Hillary Swank Story; Fly on the Wall Girl: When JLo Brought…

You need to make this happen.

*HAPPENIS*

Between his stance on abortion and this position on dildos Cruz is dangerously underestimating the trollop voting bloc. I really want to make bumper stickers that say “I’m an irredeemable slut, and I vote.”

Thought he studied the Constitution?
HELLO THE *PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS*!

Literally the only good thing about Cruz’s candidacy has been this guy.

lets start a kickstarter, because this is hilarious

He fought against dildos. Why did this just become the most shocking thing about him to me? Let the people have their sex toys, Ted Cruz.

Ted Cruz is an alien that was kicked off his home planet because even they don’t like him.

What if there are aliens among us, and they’re the ones voting for Ted Cruz as part of their plot to take over the Earth?

Thing about that is that aliens, at least, are real.

How much longer until someone offers this guy a huge advance for a tell-all book about his time living with Ted Cruz?

I wish I could feel something towards her, but alas I do not. She’s so very bland to me (beautiful indeed, but bland). Maybe because she dated Puff Daddy? That immediately gives me the mehs.