Alas, no, but if you Google my name the Bible does show up in the search results. 

The worst thing about Trump isn’t anything he is or does. The worst thing is he’s not the cause of everything wrong with America; he’s a symptom.

“They never worry about what black people won’t like because—for many black voters—supporting the Democratic Party is the result of choosing between the lesser of two evils.”

My advice? Keep all the details to yourself no matter how close or friendly you think you are with the person or how chill you think that person is. You’d be surprised at how much people give a shit about something that has literally zero impact on their own lives. It’s less about you and more about a lot of…

Oy vey.

All weddings are performative.

Hahahah yes. First thing I thought about, and the best part of it is my ex’s name is Jeremy.

😉 Apologies. Next time, I’ll try harder. 

I’ve said this before, but this feels like we’re in a real life version of The Emperor’s New Clothes. The MAGAts all swear up and down that Trump is wearing the finest, most elegant, most luxurious suit ever while we’re all screaming “HE AIN’T GOT NO DRAWS ON!”

If “loosely matches” is an acceptable criterion, then all white guys should be detained on suspicion of being the zodiac killer. 

Cowardly is the word. Forget the guy is on his knees and hands behind his head, or that you’ve got all these guys with guns, they still act like they’re about to be pounced on by one of those super-negroes they’ve all heard about. 

Lol it took seven of them ? For one guy? Really ?

Thank God that sister, through her tears, told them to come get him instead of him moving towards them.  No doubt about it, she saved that brother’s life. 

It appears his cheese has completely slipped off his hamberder.

Celine Dion is a weird and wonderful goddamn treasure who we must protect at all costs. (possibly from herself at times.)

I wish them luck on both this and their next marriages.

Not as embarrassing as the time I found out that Keanu Reeves had a cervical spinal fusion the same day I did (a tidbit dropped by my surgeon who knew his surgeon) and sent him a love letter asking him if he “wanted to neck” (neck/make out/cervical spine) In my defense I was on much many painkillers. I’m pretty sure…

To help with the crush, imagine something horrible about him that would be awful if you were out with him ie he smells horrible/he’s rude to waiters/he smokes like a chimney. Someone gave me the same advice on here and it really works. I hope you can get your sleep apnea sorted soon! 

I had to do a similar thing but for a Bible once. (I also got to write some of the footnotes!) The publishing company actually credited all the editors, meaning this queer atheist’s name is printed in Bibles, which is surreal to me.

This was the late 90s in the heart of the Clinton economy. My brother worked for a trading firm. He got me a summer job on the floor of a stock exchange doing data entry. I did not know how to type. It didn’t matter. I had a job doing nothing. I worked a 7 and a half hour day. I would maybe do 45 minutes of work…