“What funniest to me is this family’s consistent lack of self awareness.”

Because aside from being the perfect action movie star (I said what I said Tom Cruise!), he also has a fantastic sense of humor.

There is so much dumb in this world, the only ray of sunshine is Keanu.

I love my husband more than life itself, but I wouldn’t mind one bit if we had, like, adjoining townhouses!

Secondly, what the fuck is an intimacy teacher

Apparently the rules had been recently changed. Tynes just fucked up her own life for nothing. 

Celine Dion is a weird and wonderful goddamn treasure who we must protect at all costs. (possibly from herself at times.)

I wish them luck on both this and their next marriages.

Not as embarrassing as the time I found out that Keanu Reeves had a cervical spinal fusion the same day I did (a tidbit dropped by my surgeon who knew his surgeon) and sent him a love letter asking him if he “wanted to neck” (neck/make out/cervical spine) In my defense I was on much many painkillers. I’m pretty sure…

To help with the crush, imagine something horrible about him that would be awful if you were out with him ie he smells horrible/he’s rude to waiters/he smokes like a chimney. Someone gave me the same advice on here and it really works. I hope you can get your sleep apnea sorted soon! 

I had to do a similar thing but for a Bible once. (I also got to write some of the footnotes!) The publishing company actually credited all the editors, meaning this queer atheist’s name is printed in Bibles, which is surreal to me.

This was the late 90s in the heart of the Clinton economy. My brother worked for a trading firm. He got me a summer job on the floor of a stock exchange doing data entry. I did not know how to type. It didn’t matter. I had a job doing nothing. I worked a 7 and a half hour day. I would maybe do 45 minutes of work…

It’s funny. But it’s also accurate. And not just in the way they thought. The quality of the writers and content has been in freefall for a while now, it probably started when Gawker folded and then the Univision purchase and the latest one. I feel like any really good writers left and found better employment, and the…

Jezebel’s Gawker-esque blogging on this has been really ugly. The blogger and whichever editor approved these hit pieces over a non-story should be ashamed.

“If Madonna and Bradley Cooper were locked in a room together would their combined self-absorption cancel each other out, and then they would disappear? Cause if that is case I am willing to help fund that experiment.”

Betrayed, defiled, desecrated, debased, transgressed on, invaded, assaulted, molested, etc. 

Jezebel stop talking about the beyonce story. The This is a none fucking story. Beyonce didn’t smile while someone leaned over her. This is not a story. STOP.Also, I wish beyonce would call her fans out, they are insane. I don’t think her telling her fans to calm down will stop anything, but her being silent isn’t a…

If Madonna and Bradley Cooper were locked in a room together would their combined self-absorption cancel each other out, and then they would disappear?  Cause if that is case I am willing to help fund that experiment. 

Yeah, I have to wear it for work (no one trusts someone to do their makeup if they aren’t wearing any at all), so if I have a day off I’m not doing it, except maybe my eyebrows bc they are grey. I’m lazy, and don’t see the point. My money is still green either way.