An Uber driver hit me a couple of months ago - I was in the middle lane and he pulled out of the right lane from behind a stopped bus or something. His excuse for why it was clearly not his fault (spoiler alert: nobody, not even his insurance carrier, agreed) was that his car didn’t beep to indicate that I was IN THE…

def has a google alert

I work in an affluent area, and Mercedes are a dime-a-dozen. I see ferraris at the supermarket in the summer for example. The most expensive car I’ve seen is a McLaren P1, which retailed for about $1.15 million. 

Yeah same, I don’t do creepy flag worship. It’s a real pain in the ass to be driving on a military base at closing time because you have to stop your car and wait until the song is over (which is bullshit but a lot of things on base are bullshit). It is, however, very nice to continue do whatever the fuck you were…

He’s sooooo X-Files...

i legit never fail to laugh at ‘oh lawd he comin!’ esp bc of *course* the chonker in question is a ginger. have you ever met a non-chonk ginger? that’s just who they are dammit.

This is the only chart I trust what it comes to feline well being. That cat looks like A Fine Boi to me, maybe a He Chomnk....

Oh lawd he comin'!

As much as my Canadian friends will hate me for this, sausage all day!  Bacon is great and all but you can get so many different flavors with sausage.  My favorite is Portuguese sausage (Linguica), takes me back to my youth in Hawaii.  Fun fact, you can get scrambled eggs, Portuguese sausage and rice at McDonalds in…

Sausage, always. I like bacon but it doesn’t really do anything to fill you up and it’s blindingly unhealthy. Sausage at least give you the option of turkey or other healthier choices without becoming like potato chips (turkey bacon SUCKS), and I like patties, links, or even the breakfast sausage hash I've had. Again,…

I pick sausage for the same reason Kevin picks bacon here: I think mediocre sausage is way better than mediocre bacon. When I’m very honest with myself, the only part of bacon I actually love is the perfectly cooked bits of crispy fat. If you over (or wildly under) cook bacon, or if you use super cheap meat that…

Sausage. It’s heartier, there’s more you can do with it, and it’s much harder to screw it up such that it’s inedible.

#TeamSausage all the friggin’ way! 

Sausages!

I said as much in the comments to the breakfast food draft, but bacon is by far the most overrated breakfast food, and one of the most overrated foods in general.

Sausage, without question. Bacon is nice, but doesn’t hold a candle to good breakfast sausage. 

Sausage. I love bacon, but it is more of a condiment. Sausage is a solid meal.

What would I rather have on a breakfast sandwich? Sausage.

Bacon MAY have a higher peak, but I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever eaten a bad piece of sausage, whereas I’ve eaten many a bad piece of bacon.

I fucking love it, and I hope it’s a full album. Best fuck men song since “None of your Business”.