I was really into your rage until YUM! Center.

Or maybe cocaine.

Someone had some Ambien.

That’s just your opinion, man. And you know what they say about opinions:

The USADA tested Serena right after her win. While they found her levels of Flystorgen, Notgivingfucks & SoDopamine to be off the charts for a regular pro-athlete they still were within Williams’ standard range.

I knew a guy who was just simply playing with his innocent hand gun, then got depressed and went out and shot up a pizza place with his video game.

I tend not to comment on women’s appearances but... do conservatives just have a little tree that cruel-looking blond women bud from?

Video games do pose a tremendous hazard to our nation’s children. Even now, as a 40-year old man, I still find myself jumping on turtles, eating wild mushrooms, and climbing down random sewer pipes.

I tend not to comment on women’s appearances but... do conservatives just have a little tree that cruel-looking blond women bud from?

Video games. The NFL. Disaffected young men with mental problems. Chicago pizza.

You can’t even talk about gaming addiction as if a proportionate amount of people pour all of their self esteem into how good or knowledgeable they are about games (is applicable to most things, beside the point). Watching people “rage quit” is supposed to be funny and you are supposed to ignore how unhealthy it is to…

We now live in a world where “losing a game of Madden” is now on the list of stats for “causes of a mass shooting”. How fucking fantastic.

Michigan State just offered him a chancellorship. This state has done one hell of a heel turn over the past two years. Is there something in the water in that state? Oh right.

A good lesson to take from this is that it’s never a good idea to use racial slurs at work.

There’s a lot of music that he likes.

Has 45 ever mentioned liking any music? Hell, any art at all? He’s so culturally bereft, so incurious, so dull it beggars belief.

Well, hey, she might have performed in one of his failing resorts or casinos, so that means he’s responsible for her success.

This makes me feel better for about a half second, followed up by waves of agony and longing. 

“She worked for me on numerous occasions.”

Even when someone like Aretha Franklin dies, 45 has to make it about him.