I was a WWF diehard from the minute my grandfather popped in some old Wrestlemania tapes for me and my cousins one Christmas. It had to have been around 1988-89...up until 2001 during the Triple H/Kane storyline where HHH pretends to fuck a fake corpse while dressed as Kane.

Roseanne Connor was always a “take them as they are” kind of working-class, Midwest mom that didn’t care if you were black, white, straight, gay, Republican or Dem. If you treated her with kindness and didn’t cross her family, you were a-ok in her book.

Counter point; you can fuck right off and you’re only a writer because Univision allows you to be a thing.

So basically every retail job ever? The horror!

So several years ago, I met a girl on OKCupid (I don’t recommend that).

“I reported over two hours ago some people were illegally grilling in the park with a charcoal grill where they’re not supposed to...”

Nope, just old Joe Pesci :(

I mean, as a white Italian man, he looks like every uncle I have. I’m not saying Cousin Tony over there isn’t the same Cousin Tony that was being a racist piece of shit, but...c’mon, you’ve seen the Jersey Shore. These tools all look the same. *

Or better yet, homeschool your child. If you’re so offended by multicultural diversity that might actually, oh I don’t know...enrich your kid’s perspective on the world, why not put him/her into a true vacuum so you can fill their head with all the garbage your shitty parents instilled into you? Keep that…

Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

I dig it, but I feel like Good Smile set the bar with Geralt and Deadpool. So many accessories! This just feels a little slim in comparison.

Hey now, I’m onboard the Gibbler train!

I cut Screech some slack; he was an awkward nerd who was somehow befriended by cool, pretty people. Dude knew he was the lowest rung in his social circle. He was persistent, but no where near the creep levels Zack reaches.

Look, everyone — save for Mr. Belding and Screech — were terrible people in Saved by the Bell. Zack and Slater constantly at odds, cheating on significant others and trying to break each other up so they could date their respective girlfriends, money scams, Lisa being a materialistic spoiled brat, Jessie constantly…

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Cary Elwes but that picture of him is giving me some serious Crispin Glover vibes.

My encyclopedic knowledge of 90's sitcoms finally gets to shine!

Oh look, white trash being — shocking — white trash.

....then who is going to make kid shows? Children? Who can’t write scripts, operate production equipment, or be trusted to keep a schedule?

So when Dragonball comes back [because we all know this is a hiatus and not an end] as Ultra, Super Duper, Infinite, whatever...they need to dramatically retcon some shit.

Meh, I’m neither Irish nor Catholic so there is zero appeal to the holiday for me.