* Schabanfreude

Not to worry folks, Darren Rovell has the real scoop tonight:

This game raises some serious questions about God. Maybe if He didn’t spend so much time paying attention to college football, He might’ve realized that while He was helping Clemson win a national title, Donald Trump was elected president and a dickload of people died of war, famine, and disease.

I don’t see how he suits up on Sunday and/or is effective. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t breathing and turning two very important parts of playing football?

On the bright side, recovery should be deceptively fast.

Mixing up your cliches. Eloquent is a black player who speaks in surprisingly audible cliches.

As gruesome as it was watching the injury happen, it was also borderline absurd listen to the commentary team go on how it must be his old hip injury despite seeing several slow replays of the Giants defender just blast in to Nelson’s ribs.

Tony Romo broke three ribs hearing about Jordy Nelson breaking two ribs.

Sorry, what were we talking about again?

Wishing an ACL tear on a guy who briefly tried to restrict your punting space seems... extreme. I think he got under your skin a little, Chris.

Fuck Joey Porter. He’s an asshole and I hope he gets his balls gnawed off by weasels.

He was probably just trying to attend to an injured customer.

Rodgers should throw another Hail Mary to open the 2nd half, just to troll the Giants.

“Only Aaron Rodgers could have thrown a ball so amazingly perfect that none of the defenders decided to try to break up the pass.”

Pats fans can’t understand that they would have gone 11-5 or better without brady, whereas the Raiders would have been about 4-12 without Derek Carr.

Brian Hoyer should feel insulted.

The guy who’s team routinely plays the same playoff-caliber ball with or without him? Yeah. That guy. But your bias is built-in to your name so don’t even pretend to be objective. You’ll be forgiven for it... by someone.

Yea, he definitely deserves some consideration. I can see Carr, Dak, Ryan, and Rodgers as candidates. Sadly, the wrong who will win it doesn’t deserve it nearly as much, but because the media loves slurping him, he’ll get it.

Thursday night football, now on Saturday afternoon!

Just another college football Saturday.