Having the sick impulse to call the cops, from the site of one of the worst flood disasters in American history, to report victims of that flood for looting a supermarket; but also: a crime

Bigger ones are more physically stable, less subject to the whims of the breeze. And more expensive ones carry more advanced avionics.

Did he take his writers with him?

No one is more patriotic than the black folks who fight for this country, knowing damn well this country will not fight for them.

I probably am?

But why couldn’t they shoot the trigger off his gun instead?

“Jeeves, please dispose of this vile Cranium Clay. It has been molded into a shape.”

Trump: “We must get Congress to find and stop these leakers! It is un-American!”

Basically, one of our two political parties has built its entire ideology around the notion of personal responsibility, which, in its most-insidious form, is interpreted by adherents to imply that a person’s status is solely the product of their own work ethic, focus and determination; put more simply, that the poor…

“War... huh... good God, what is it good for?”

She dumped him because he’s a traitor.

You fucking piece of shit - do you have any experience with autism? Do you know what a parent with an autistic child goes through? Do you know how hard fought the battle has been for teachers and authorities to start distinguishing autism from run-of-the-mill bad behavior? How many smart autistic kids end up kicked…

We’re about to start a nuclear war with North Korea, Trump has stocked his White House with white nationalists, and Republicans are trying to strip 20 million people of health insurance—to say nothing of climate change, the rise in hate crimes, or attacks on reproductive rights.

I think there’s a lot of ways to skin the Sabrina cat

I’m not sure what’s more impressive...that Dame Judi Dench was convinced to grill Daisy Ridley or that Daisy had the steel to withstand her.

I’d be sharing about how “I got things so hot that my girlfriend’s panties literally burst into flame” the rest of my life.

“Jared Leto refused to eat anything but carefully crafted miniature humans made out of beef sticks during the shooting of the film.”

Hope it turns out well for you. Thankfully, my wife and I didn’t have to go through IVF. We were really torn about whether we wanted to go that far in fertility treatment after 18 months of nothing working. Finally, though, the stars aligned and the deities smiled favorably upon us. The second time around, we just…