Rimshot.

These days are not the only days she’s been craving five guys.

David Carradine impression gone wrong?

+1 broken tree branch

The St. Louis Rams thought so highly of Lawrence Phillips in the draft, that they traded away some running back to Pittsburgh to get the Steelers’ draft picks that year. That running back the Rams tossed away? Some guy named Jerome Bettis. Wonder whatever happened to him...

“He will be missed.”

“He had mutiple bullet wounds, multiple stab wounds and his neck in a noose hanging from his ceiling but prison officials declared it a suicide.”

Tom Osborne stands by his decision to let Phillips play again for Nebraska in the fall of 2016 saying that abandoning Phillips at this point would hurt him more than it would help him.

“The Rams are moving to LA? OVER MY DEAD BODY!”

“ Terricka — who is craving Taco Bell and Five Guys these days — is looking forward to when her newborns arrive. But as for having more in the future? She plans to get her tubes tied so that doesn’t happen.”

But when you get a vasectomy, it’s not immediately effective. In fact, my doctor told me it would 60 to 75 ejaculations before I was cleared of sperm. I did a quick calculation on the frequency my wife and I had sex and realized I was going to be fertile for 5 or six years.

True. But if Antonio Cromartie happened to win the Powerball tonight you’d raise an eyebrow, right?

Sounds like some lucky guy is teaching Cromartie a lesson on how to properly execute the bump-and-run.

Apparently, Plan B was to have Terricka use a diaphragm, but there was a conspiracy among Antonio’s teammates to Buster Skrine.

It will all make sense to Antonio when the of the twins comes out and starts throwing Fitzmagic type spirals.

“I’d hit that.”

Guy really knows how to jam the receiver.

Phillip Rivers just read this and is now attempting to sire a set of triplets.

Whenever the End Times come, we need to make sure we save Antonio Cromartie for re-population purposes.

Pssss Antonio, you really oughta get a DNA test done....