You can peel my old navy linen shorts off my cold dead ass. I have 4 pair and it's all I wear in summer when I'm not at work.
You can peel my old navy linen shorts off my cold dead ass. I have 4 pair and it's all I wear in summer when I'm not at work.
I didn’t wear shorts for so many years because I was ridiculously self conscious and thought my legs were hideous. And I refused to wear them all while living in south Texas, where it’s hot and humid as fuck. A few years ago I said to hell with it, and started wearing shorts because I could no longer deal with the…
I don’t know if kicking you in the balls until you’re sterile will help all of us though.
Portions are always too small when you’re a fatass Huckabee.
Maybe this is what pumpkin spice withdrawal looks like.
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is if Oliver North didn’t sell him the ammo too.
**David Attenborough voice**
“In times of danger, the Bluegrass Turtle uses fat energy from its neckpouch to survive.”
I’m surprised the NRA even knows Parks & Rec, I guess there are no decent Duck Dynasty memes.
They’re about four times more expensive at the nearest health food store which is a little over ninety miles away, but thanks for judging the ethics of a purchase I made while my daughter’s cat was dying.
YOU GUYS, I just announced *today* that I am running for County Board Chairman —a position that has never been held by a democrat or a woman of either party in history of our County. Only rich white republicans have ever held this office (it pays insanely well!). Right now, the incumbent is running unopposed and I…
When it’s an impossible strategy. 2010 gave the GOP a lifeline. We didn’t respond the way that we needed to, and we dropped the ball in 2014 and 2016. That’s made justice harder than it needed to be because we didn’t protect the Supreme Court.
But if we can make this our new normal, we may get enough control to prevent…
Let this be a reminder that unlike what certain self described progressives say, we absolutely cannot compromise and allow antiabortion people on the Democratic ticket in an effort to win seats.
Tsk, tsk. I want all the distraught straight men to know that many of us find penises beautiful to look at. Unfortunately for them, most of us are gay men. But I want them to know, if they’re sick of having their beautiful penises disrespected and laughed at, we’re waiting with open...arms.
WOW. Seeing Tim Riggins in that costume just started the Dust Bowl in my vagina, as told by Ken Burns.
“Shreeh! She is not the persident!!! Shreeh! Big banks and elitist hoaxes! Shreeh! Hilary voted against the gayes lifestyle!!! Don’t liboral love that lifestyle?! Shreeh! SHILLLAAARYYYYYYY! SHILLAAAARRYYYYYY! SHREEEEEEEH!”
To answer your question as it would likely be presented by a Fox News acolyte.
Where I’m from they would say “she’s got one eye fishin’ and the other eye huntin’”
I’m not sure where to write this, so I’ll post it here:
Dear Ivanka Trump:
Someone should kick your mother in the cunt for letting you drizzle out and then congeal.
FTFY