But they always sound like they have a misfire, and sound is important. They have no song, just obnoxious noise. Subaru noise is a "blat blat blat", like a cross between a goat and a Beetle with a dime-sized hole in one piston.

I agree with this, and I am far from a Ford Fanboi

What can I say... I love science and stuff!

You misspelled "rumble". It's really "misfire". And it sounds broken. An Aston Martin sounds good. Your mom sounds good. A broken lawn mower with a misfire sounds like a broken lawn mower with a misfire. Always will.

I'm the farthest thing from a geologist: I'm a wind tunnel engineer.

Stock Neon SRT4 says GTFAC:

Hey, a girl's gotta eat, so...

So glad I'm not the only one who prefers music over noise.

Well I think you're dumb and a Meanie Head so there!

I hope you're right, because every stock Subaru since the Pleistocene Epoch has sounded like it was broken before it left the factory and that's sad. It sounds like you think this one will be different.

Regardless of whether the WRX is faster, or more drifty, or whatever... it's still going to sound like a Kohler lawn mower with a broken exhaust manifold. Or a Beetle with a broken piston. Or maybe a rapidly failing Lycoming that's about to turn your Beechcraft Bonanza into a big glider.

You missed a very special breed of Econoline: The Creeper Van:

Karl Benz?

A friend of mine years ago had one of these AND a four wheel drive Tempo. I have no idea how he found either of those unicorns.

You are correct. This plate passes the "Cool Test" but fails the "Basic Engineering Test".

I have now seen that which can't be unseen.

THAT's some funny shit, right there!!

Holy brutal GIF, Batman...

Going backwards: