My 3 year old would lose her GODDAMN MIND if I took her to this beach. She’s obssessed. I blame YouTube.

Jesus shit, every single promo for that movie made it looked like straight up depraved white-people shit.

Reminder of context: Donald Glover was raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses. (I was as well.) Not only is magic in its most literal sense banned, you’re not really allowed to dream big or have fantasies about your future. There’s no wonderment. There’s no delight. Becoming a performer, artist, athlete, or anything else…

Can we take a moment and objectify the brilliant Mr. Glover? That tuxedo was the perfect shade to complement his skin tone. Yum.

I hope that’s true because then I can fantasize about a ship full of weed wrecking nearby and depositing the bootie at my feet.

Coutney B. Vance was robbed. I like Hiddles, but good lord that speech was cringey. Also I kinda hate how so many folks acted like Taylor Swift had some magic pussy of doom that ensnared poor widdle Tom, cause Tom is just as thirsty as Taylor.

Stupid people?

Picture it: Hulu, 2017.

At least John McCain was capable of showing a shred of decency with regards to his political opponent. Trump’s version was just going back on a batfuck crazy promise to jail his rival.

Yep, it’s 9 a.m. and I’m just getting around to putting on pants, considering the gym, but really this hot coffee in my silent loft apartment is quite nice. They made today a work-from-home day at work due to the sub-zero temps. Maybe I’ll finish my book since I have two more in the queue, but I should tidy up and get…

Also calling me an asshole for thinking a gay woman should call a homophobe a homophobe is quite the take.

I support any protest that prevents another kid with a precious name.

and those PEOPLE

these NAMES

This is a thing that actually happens? Hard pass.

I guess this is out of style now that cosleeping is in style, but my parents just told us that bedrooms are private places, that you shouldn’t go in someone else’s without permission, and that if someone leaves the living room or the kitchen to go to theirs they probably want to be left alone. They were pretty good…

Fun fact: Fred Armisen did his pitch-perfect Penny Marshall impression for this memoir’s official book trailer. In it, Penny answers a phone call from Carrie.

I knew I would tear up...

“Georgie, this man is in charge of the treasonous, violent, hilbilly tax cheats Daddy was telling you about.”