The thing is...I am absolutely more successful today than I would have been if I hadn’t had an abortion at 16. It was the smartest choice I could have made, not to mention I didn’t want to have a baby. 

Men shouldn’t have sex if they’re not prepared to accept that the woman may get an abortion.

“I sort of doubt that abortion was a key step on their path to success.”

Lloyd argued that women shouldn’t have sex if they’re not prepared to give birth:

This may be off topic, but I read this story on the weekend and walked around teary-eyed through Sunday night.

I refuse to believe that Michelle Obama dogears books. 

Sure, but “another grifter” is a shitty perfume name. Better cologne name. Great for a Peyronie’s disease remedy.

“It never fails to amaze me how Ivanka Trump comports herself like she’s the spunky princess of some beloved royal family.” wrote someone astutely on Twitter whose name I wish I could remember, during the Winter Olympics, accompanied by a picture of Ivanka wearing a gold medal for some reason with a big toothy fake lau…

I will not sit back idly and listen to you disparage this wonderful woman. I’ll you know sir, that those who had the pleasure to serve Ivanka during her frequent trips to Saudi Arabia, would frequently comment about her generosity in allowing them to take four hours a day to themselves in order to sleep. I heard a…

Remember during the campaign how American Hitler kept screaming about the alleged underhanded activities of the Clinton Foundation? Funny how the lawbreaking Trumps with their self-dealing “foundation” have shown utter contempt for the law when what they’ve done is a thousand times worse. Things definitely change when…

In my 17 years of waiting experience, 10 have been at a good steakhouse. When I was a young punk I was a snob about steak doneness and other things. In the past few years I’ve come to your conclusion. Eat what you like. It’s your dime. Everytime a guest APOLOGIZES for ordering a steak well done I either draw no…

Agreed. But it’s good to try new things because sometimes you can discover that you like them also or better even.

Getting a sous vide has completely elevated my steak game. 

I think that’s thing people forget, is that well done steak is still a treat if you haven’t had it any other way, or if there’s no option. I’m a medium-rare person, which obviously means I’m the best kind of person. But, that does NOT mean I’m skipping dinner or just eating a side like some asshole if you made well-don…

You liked well done steak and hate runny eggs? How the fuck are you a food columnist? This shit should be part of the interview process.

This is what happens when people “think” they understand satire.

Well Chevy has long been known to be a fucking asshole so, there is that.

Trump lied yesterday. He told the biggest bold-faced lie he has ever told. At his little rally last night, he said Putin did not want him to win. Putin himself said he wanted Trump to win, while standing right next to Trump, on international TV. The man lies all the damn time and he can’t stop. This is getting…

Jr. brings to mind something someone said about Kenneth Parcells on 30 Rock: He looks like a finger with teeth.

It’s like cottage cheese and plain white bread started dating