(That’s Carlos Danger to you and me.)

It’s my friend Mike from High School. He draws dicks on everything!

(Either way, you’re making me laugh, which I appreciate.)

But just think! I can compromise my crush’s account and load up photos of my penis without her even having to ask.

But just think! I can compromise my crush’s account and load up photos of my penis without her even having to ask.

Allright, allright. I agree, calm down (*if* you’re excited). But even the (presumably) licensed guy with the dash cam was a moron here.

Fair enough. They probably could have looked down the tracks too. I know I always do when crossing.

Judging by the look on her face, it was :|

But it looks like the gates went up and people started crossing, then the went back down. Am I seeing that wrong?

We’re done here.

Thanks for this Melissa! Do you happen to know if I need to enroll in the ID theft protection if I have frozen my credit?

Just need a smidgen of...

...comments I made in 2012. Which is kind of a nice way to pretend the events of the past 18 months or so didn’t happen...

Yes. Makes it all the more infuriating.

Make sure the end of your fishy-spatch is square. Rounded ends don’t scrape well.

I thought it would be Bill.

This is great. Can you do one for white guys?

A bargain at any price

Ok, but did you see the FLOTUS hat? That I actually like.

Do you happen to know if the normal Yi waterproof case works with the Yi lite? Doesn’t say on their website.

Do you happen to know if the normal Yi waterproof case works with the Yi lite? Doesn’t say on their website.

Everyone knows it’s bad tire pressure that leads to warped rotors.