So, an article about a whole lot of nothing. Sounds about right from you. Earlier events were definitely before the pseudo-professionalism hit, where rampant cursing and things were allowed, but that has changed since at least the past two years of GDQ. As for the MAGA hat ‘controversy’, they were given multiple…

Thank god we have Patricia on the case to cover all our pewdiepie needs! Maybe next we will get an in-depth expose about how he puts on his pants one leg at a time. Or just how many cracks he steps on meaning he hates his mother’s back with a passion. Thank our lucky stars we have this kind of journalism that enriches…

And commenters should be fun to socialize with, citizen. However, I’ve yet to find a time when you weren’t a complete asshole. Does it run in the family, or are you an outlier? See, a bad joke can be fixed, citizen, much like I was when my bullet-riddled form was thrust in this robotic shell. It’s impossible for…

Another case of could you cry any harder

Fighting crime is getting easier than ever, citizens. Now when someone is under duress all I have to say is, "Ma’am, you have experienced severe emotional shock. I will notify a local pokemon gym."

My epilepsy doesn’t allow me to play one of my favorite 4x franchises, Sins of a Solar Empire. So, I play something else - still don’t understand what triggers my attacks with that game. But I don’t feel alienated. Don’t feel discouraged. I just cannot play that game, at all.

Not even remotely interested in getting this, citizen.

It’s ‘Titanfall | 2' citizen. The divider is as important as serving the public trust, but I don't trust it.

Doom, citizen. I start each encounter by saying things like ‘your move creep’ or ‘dead or alive, you’re coming with me’, so none can say I didn’t give my foes a chance.

Are they making all the playable space Bungie said we’d have at one of their E3 presentations, citizen, or is the team going with what we actually got?

A troll, citizen? My robo-brain happens to operate at a higher rate than regular brains. It’s a plus side of being viciously murdered while defending the rights of Detroit citizens all across the vast everywheres of Detroit.

It is my genuine feeling you are lying. Survivors don’t wish for the torment they go through to be inflicted upon others, likewise when people say ‘I don’t normally...’ means this is likely how they react every singe time. However, you say it, as you’re afraid of being judged, and rightly so, for being the person you…

L Blocktober, citizen

Nothing gets my gears and rotors going like a neat and orderly game of Tetris. Watching the blocks fall cleanly into place is like filing a full day’s worth of arrest paperwork in correct order and up to the department’s standards.

You don’t agree with the content of this sketch because it isn’t how you see comedy, citizen? You must have a narrow viewpoint regarding the rest of the world, if these comments are any indication.

This makes my scales of justice rigid. And throbbing. For crime prevention.

Many believe that because they have the right to something it protects them from the consequences of their actions, citizen, but it does not. Several lawbreakers I’ve come in contact with have proudly displayed their Second Ammendment rights, only to be met with the sharp, pointy-end of the law, which I stick in their…

Oh, really, citizen? It’s good that the disease known as crime killed me because I was unable to fight back after taking a hundred rounds to the chest and losing my hand? I’m not sure this person is in their right mind, which is a terrible place for them to be in, considering I took a bullet to mine.

When OCP crafted me out of the scales of Lady Justice, I had vivid hallucinations about being in a futuristic robot dystopia. There is no compliance, and crime rampant, it is everywhere; the greatest transgression in the fact that my robo-porridge still tastes of Gerber’s and PTSD. This is not the future mankind was…

So you would willingly steal property, citizen, knowing it is illegal, because you do not wish to comply? The law protects you from incriminating yourself, however it doesn’t protect you from being an idiot. You are under arrest.