“Make myself a marketable worker, eh? I actually quit my job to do reselling full time, so, nah.”

Fuck you, too.

I’m a dude and think these clothes look like cheap, generic sundresses, but this sort of bullshit behavior exists in all forms of commerce, not just pants.

Probably. The company dictates policies, but the stores are pushed to sell, sell, sell and profit, profit, profit.

Make yourself a marketable worker and not a bottom-feeding shitbag scavenger and you’ll be able to feed your family without inconveniencing anyone!

Well, sure, but I think there's a pretty marked difference between law school students who end up representing some particularly troublesome clients and becoming, as was noted, one of the few people in the country who not only legally can, but is REQUIRED to possess child porn and hook up the ol' computerized cock…

I worry deeply about the person who shoots for a career in collecting child porn and strapping electrodes to dicks.

How To Use Twitter/Instagram As A Celebrity:

To my knowledge, you don’t.

It may not change anything (short-term, anyway), but it’s still heartening to see the public at large starting to look at proposals to fund new stadiums for multibillionaires with their tax dollars and going “well, sure; that sounds like a good inv— hey, wait a minute...”

A nose hair keeping me from a nap makes me want to burn the world.

A nose hair keeping me from a nap makes me want to burn the world.

That's what it does and no, it won't make them grow back faster.

That's what it does and no, it won't make them grow back faster.

oh wow a white girl who loves beyonce someone call the press

You've just opened a whole new world to me. You have my eternal gratitude.

Ugh, the sweet receptors on your tongue must be broken. Miracle Whip tastes like off-brand light mayo that someone spilled the breakfast sugar bowl into.

You take a Kraft single, cover it in peanut butter, roll it in a slice of salami, cut it in half, put the resulting halves between two Ritz crackers with a tiny dollop of mustard on top. Repeat as many times as your hunger calls for.

It's called "kicking the debt can down the road."

Reading is, uh, not your thing, huh?

Sure, but the counterpoint here is that the term "bullying" is overused as fuck anymore and while I, as a kid who was legitimately bullied in school, think it's great that bullying is finally starting to be treated as the abhorrent and inexcusable behavior that it is, to call everything people don't like "bullying"…

Sure you do.