No, see, the problem is that every parents tries this tactic. Most of them are spineless shitstains who crumple like a cheap car bumper when they hit some resistance.

My wife's parents and the two of her kids that are currently raising kids have always favored the approach of "we aren't going to give you 1,000 rules, expect you to remember them all and decide how to handle it AFTER you break one. We're going to give you 12 and this is what will happen if you break them."

Part of being a good anything is never making the same mistake twice.

Ooooh, I do! I do!

If your mom hit you, she wasn't a good mom. Sorry.

So what's your scale? How many books read = one violent physical strike? How many tickle fights = one spazout in which Mommy shakes the fuck out of him and nearly becomes Susan Smith?

I dunno. Stewart mentioned the Lesnar/Undertaker thing from last year on the Daily Show for no real reason and he seemed pretty well-versed on the last year or so of Rollins' character history (although there's no reason a talented TV performer like Stewart couldn't have memorized a script, I suppose).

Not everything is political. Chill your jets, Hannity/Colmes.

You did and my dumb Saturday brain must've skipped over it. My bad and thanks!

What are your thoughts on adding a splash of red wine?

My sister's a redhead and she's awesome.

Wow, three songs, two of which were singles. You sure got him all figured out.

Ooooooooooooooooooh, is this the thread where we let our inner hipsters out to play and deride something popular for being popular while falsely claiming to only be passingly familiar (at best) with it?

Swap 2 and 1 and we have a deal.

I think the idea, as reiterated multiple times throughout the column as well as at the actual, literal, very-last-sentence end, is to serve a dinner that still allows for sexy fun times later on.

I..... Fuck.

Fun fact: If you have a thing to eat, you can put that thing on pizza.

Had to go 30 deep from the top to find two bands who I'd actually like to see perform a full set.

This is what you wish reality was, not what it is.