I’ve got my fingers crossed for a Vanessa Bayer cameo as Jacob the Bar Mitzvah Boy:

A disheveled woman in slippers, jeans, and a winter fair isle sweater, JANE, reads these descriptions and despairs. She glances around her home, trudges to the stand of bottles by the window, and, with stunning elegance, opens and swigs from the illegal Cuban rum in one fell swoop. She ponders life in American society…

Awwww, that’s sweet. Not as good as the heroic Clooney running into a burning barn like I was imagining, but still.

This was a brilliant and thought provoking read. Loved it!

For such a classy movie you would’ve thought they’d spring for a hand stunt double. This is cheap. A homeless person could’ve done better.

Habitat for Huge Manatees.

Emadi was put on the human rights sanctions list by the European Court of Justice in 2013. The sanction was upheld in December 2015, meaning he’s unable to travel to Europe and any assets he has there have been frozen.

She’s definitely had some open-stomach surgery.

Are you Canadian? I had a little flashback when Jimmy was in the latest X-Files episode.

It kind of sucks that of all characters, Noah was the one who didn’t have an arc.
(I’ll show myself out, thanks.)

“You’re not handsome, you’re not cool”

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani have asked Blac Chyna to be the egg donor.

My father accidentally ran into Trump in the early 90s and said it was hard to not punch him in the face, he just exuded an air of douchery.

No you should, the lesson is to not exploit or undervalue anyone who helps you get closer to realizing your vision.

...but as a man, you don’t GET to have one.

The only time this happened to me I was on a flight to Korea and had the window, while a kindly old Korean woman had the isle. We exchanged pleasantries (nods, es she didn’t speak much english) and I silently helped her untangle her earphones. After the plane took off and we both realized there was no one to sit…

And, OMG these people, if you are part of a couple and you book an aisle seat and a window seat in the hopes that no one takes the middle and then someone sits in the middle seat and you don’t offer to switch and instead hold whole conversations over middle’s head YOU ARE MONSTER PEOPLE.

ALL of these rules, but especially this:

Good. Better: when he’s behind bars.

Awesome article. One small quibble.