Newt and Chris should grab a round of golf sometime. I have a feeling they'd be best buddies.

She could just remain unmarried and go into the import business as "Maiden China"

ARE YOU ROB KARDASHIAN?!

As tribute to the financial burden that will prevent me from having kids earlier, I'm naming my daughter Sallie Mae

Like a utopian version of Children of Men, where all women named Kardashian are mysteriously rendered infertile.

"South Bysouth"

That's what I was thinking, a pale version of of the Zombie, like you'd do with White Negroni. (I'm generally not a fan of cream in drinks, esp one with this much citrus.)

Also sounds like a great name for a tiki cocktail.

Burton is in what future film historians will call the "Johnny Depp Acting Drunk in a Variety of Silly Hats" phase.

You just know half of these ideas were already on some network exec's "To Pitch" list.

The "Dillionaire" almost got me on the G train!

Tom Shane! For the last time, you're not my friend! I don't even know you!

No, it okay, don't be cry

I wish they had started in 1910  - hearing a Ragtime Get Lucky would make my week!

David Brooks grew a beard?

I don't and I don't!

Haven't spent much time in Williamsburg, have you? We have artisanal soda fountains, milkshake boutiques, lemonade stands. Hell, a place opened near my work selling $7 small-batch sno cones.

♫A tooter who tutored the flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot
Said the two to their tutor, is it harder to toot
Or to tutor two tooters to toot?♫

Don't say that you love me!
Just tell me that you want me!
Aiieeee

Just like Alec Baldwin couldn't remember how he got home after the bridge accident in Beetlejuice!