Oh yeah, doesn’t Brute also make an aftershave splash? Gotta find some.

“Slave cabin? Um, I think you mean On-Premise Worker Habitat.”

I paid 18 bucks for taco bell last week

Damn, Jane sounds like a badass. I think I’m gonna buy this game now...

I can believe that if the 2003 internet was going to share one thing and one thing only, it would be an ASCII version of the matrix.

This is like bizarro world for me. Jane was my freshman orientation guide at Fordham.

That was some nasty looking water, if you can even call it that. I can’t put my finger on what it reminds me of, but it’s definitely not water.

8 gigs of DDR3 is low now? Man my machine is outdated...

Well, if we’re being honest, we’ve certainly had stranger interpretations of The Joker.

A cursory Google search showed me how terrible and sad this really is. I applaud this respectful article. This is how adults write about someone’s passing.

this is how easy it is for the robots to divide us

Same here.

First off, yes, I know it's not real cheese. I know some people are disgusted by the stuff, but a lot of us like it in the right situation. But no one likes bargain-brand American cheese. I can't explain how it tastes, but "food" is not a word I'd use in there. I made the mistake once years ago, but never again.

If you've ever stayed at a cheap hotel, you know what a cheap bath towel feels like. You might as well be drying yourself off with a six year old sock. You don't even need to spend that much money to get a decent set of towels—one step up from the cheapest bath towel is just enough to get you dry.

It doesn't really matter what brand of toilet paper you upgrade to because pretty much everything is better than the cheap stuff. Unless you're a fan of wiping up with thin sheets of printer paper, splurge a little on a decent roll of toilet paper and you'll live a happier life.

I submit the single greatest old-school D&D crap shoot, the Deck of Many things. What will the next card bring? Something wonderful? Something useless? Or will it instantly trap your consciousness on another plane of existence, sending your body into a coma? By all means, take a card.

See, magic items have to be crafted by wizards; they require time, power, and a great many resources. So why would anyone waste their time making a magic item whose only result is making someone kind of annoying?

"When a wizard casts any spell while wearing the ring, a sheaf of papers and a quill pen suddenly appear in his hand. The papers are forms that must be filled out in triplicate explaining the effects of the spell, why the wizard wishes to cast it, whether it is for business or pleasure, and so on."