I think using that stock photo automatically excuses you from cool, but that’s just me, probably.

She probably wouldn’t be scare or violent if not for the prevalence of alcohol in this society.

Thanks, and Duncan Idaho was the Kwisatz Haderach.

But the Swedes were cowards. I wonder if Hope wishes she had called them pussies. I know I sure do. Because they were.

DeadSpin should do a pictorial of the creepiest picture of each owner.

It wasn’t the dancing. It wasn’t the shirt. It was dancing with that shirt. On tv.

“let me have hope”

Counterpoint: fentanyl.

C’mon, man, if doing that dance in that shirt on tv didn’t do it, he’s good.

You mean awful funny, right?

+1 making no sense while making me laugh

Could be worse: In Buffalo, it would’ve been the back pocket.

Counterpoint: go out in blackface tonight and wave a plastic gun around. Then you might know sadness.

All we know is that he won’t do that shit again.

I’d appreciate it if someone could explain how anything worth a flying fuck can be put within 140 characters. Announcing your comedy dates is automatically exempted.

d. Roger Ailes’ hands after eating chee-tos.

That’s two counts of cruelty: one for the picture and one for the visual.

I’d’ve gone with shot in the back by a cop.

Don’t be partisan; it can be simpler than that.

C’mon Ashley, I just ate.