Cards fan, right?

Man named Dick Fiddler: I demand you respect where I came from.

Let’s all hope this is the beginning of a long and bitter rivalry between the city of Montreal and the entire state of Kansas.

“AAARGAGAAAAAHHHGGGGGHHHAAAAAAGGGHHHH” - Donald Trump, at all times, for some reason.

I’ve always liked his films so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Lochte’s affable, energetic, cute and dim. It should be obvious he’s just completing his transition to golden retriever.

“Don’t worry about it.” - Antonio Cromartie

From swimming in meets to swimming in meat.

More like Chad ‘Not Even’ Le Clos.

I promise there is a very large contingent that feels exactly the same way about that tool bag family and their friends.

Awesome story, and I’m glad that you landed on your feet because you deserve it, my man. I actually emailed you for advice more than a couple of times while making your pulled pork recipe (still my go-to for most parties), and you emailed me back personally and you couldn’t have been nicer and more helpful. Corny as…

The parents, who are too worthless to even function as fertilizer, use their children as aesthetic human shields. They are the best justification for the anti-natalism movement.

d’awwwwww

I just want Foodspin back. The shrimp linguini recipe was amazing.

The original article is the 4th thing that pops up on Google for a “Penn Holderness” search. So, take pride in that. The people that love them will read it and get huffy , but more importantly, the people who hate them will know they are not alone.

Editor’s notes:

Why does no Bernie post-mortem exist?

The good news is that everything in that original blog post stands up as true to this day.

If it makes you feel any better, Albert, there’s no way that dude’s wife isn’t fucking around on him.

That's bigoted against sufferers of Oranal Interposition Syndrome. Buttmouth is a serious and incurable disorder that unfortunately affects millions of people. Koishki and other OIS victims deserve our compassion and respect for facing each day knowing they are doomed to "taste" with that butt for a mouth.