I’ve done Murph a couple times (no vest), and I think my best time ever was around 55 minutes. For comparison, I can run a mile in 5:30, two miles at 13:00 without feeling particularly winded, rock climb regularly at V4s pushing to V5s, and oh yeah, I played in the fucking NFL.

21-year-old Ypsilanti Township man and the passenger, a 17-year-old Ann Arbor girl

Nothing specifically personal, but I am very uncomfortable with a Mormon winning this donnybrook on Memorial Day. And before you @ me, my great-great-great-great grandfather got a pretty nasty splinter while he was waiting around for a battle to happen in the Mormon War.

Just so we can get it out of the way and move on to other commentary:
Something something something liberals, politics on my car site, keep your politics to yourself, liberal media, MAGA, I’m unsubscribing from Jalopnik, give him a chance, but whataboutwhenObama..., blah blah blah etc

LIBRUL CUCK MAGA

STOP HARASSING OUR GREAT LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD MASTER OF DEALS HE JUST LOST HIS DEAR FRIEND THE GREAT ROGER AILES A GREAT MAN THAT SPENT HIS LIFE FIGHTING FAKE NEWS.

Trump gave up more intel in 5 minutes with the Russians than John McCain did in 5 years of torture from the North Vietnamese.

And today on “Troll, Moron, or Garbage Human” ... please welcome Long-Voyager to the stage!

Extra low mileage Murcielago for sale. Recently serviced, fresh paint. Only 37k miles! Asking $250,000 or best. No lowballers, this is a RARE car, I know what I have.

LET HE OR SHE WHO HAS NOT ACCIDENTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT MEMBERSHIP IN A NEO NAZI ORGANIZATION CAST THE FIRST STONE

In somewhat good news, most experts reviewing the Antiquities Act believe that there is little he can do to recind monuments designated under the act. That is the whole point of it. Even with all the crying here in Utah (I’m a Utahn) of ‘this is an abuse’ and also, ‘wah wah wah’ because all they want is to use the…

The y’all qaedas are in charge.

I don’t see the harm in doing DNA testing in both Johnson and Lee’s cases.

I remember an era when men were men and short were shorts. None of this down past their knees crap these candyass kids wear today. On a hot day it wasn’t uncommon to see the bottom of your ball sac peeking out. Did we complain? Hell no! Even if it meant that diving for a loose ball often resulted in tearing your…

Indiana IS an armpit.

Something similar happened to me. I was accused of exposing myself when in actuality I just needed to get some semen out of my testicles.

+1 for the words “Penal Code” used in the first paragraph of the charges.

If we’re so slow, how come we caught and enslaved you?

“I need guns to protect me from the government.”

TLDR; of course it’s fake and you’ll probably see it shared on Facebook by your weird Republican friend in the next couple weeks.