Nope; that was over 15 years ago (I was 18 at the time), and I’ve changed a lot since then. Thankfully I can look back and laugh at my stupidity because nobody got hurt, but I’m so strict that I won’t drive after a single beer at this point. If I want to go somewhere when I’m drunk, I walk; if I don’t feel like…

“I was behind a person who got rear ended”

I...actually understood it.

My point being that "they" can't nail you for DUII 2 hours after the fact pretty much anywhere. Canada is an outlier. 

I was there many years ago. I was drunk as fuck at a bar about a quater mile away. A gentleman offered me a ride home. Thanks! then I started thinking about a possible parking ticket in the morning probably towed too. So my drunkass walked over to the bar and drove the car home. I totalled a parked S class on the way…

BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!

My wife, then girlfriend, was doing some shopping at a mall. Came back to her car to see a large dent on her passenger side door. A kind stranger left a note stating she saw everything and provided a description of the other vehicle, license plate, and description of the driver. She called the police to report the hit…

Devil’s advocate. He lives 3-4 houses away. He hits the guy while fucking around on his phone, swears, goes home, gets out, walks back over to talk to the guy he’s known for years to clear this up. Maybe fuck insurance, we can work it out... But to jump to “he’s drunk” and y’all piling on.... You just don’t know that

They just don’t want an accident flag on their Carfax reports.

On a humid cool cloudy day? That street could be wet for hours.

The Mountaineer is clearly damaged from a wreck, too, with zero attempt made to hide the car.

Because ethylene glycol evaporates so fast? 

Nothing runs like a Deere, certainly not that kid on foot.

They don’t even have to sober up.  The cops can’t prove they didn’t get drunk after they got home.

This perfectly captures the current state of our country.

And then there’s the hit-and-run-over driver.

My guess? Texting and driving (or other distraction while driving) and they just said “ahh fuck it, ill take care of this after I park my car” and HOPEFULLY walked over to their neighbors place to discuss insurance/repair details.

Some people do have a very good reason for being shitty and leaving the scene of a wreck.  It’s that they were already doing something else even shittier by driving under the influence.  If they can sober up before the police find them, they can get away with being a shitty person instead of a really shitty person.