I see what you did there, Mack.

Oh the humanity!

From now on I’m spelling explosion - eksplosjon. That’s way cooler.

Have we learned nothing from the Hindenburg?

Scandinavians be all like: “Let’s make environmentally friendly hydrogen station!”

Hydrogen station be all like: “Norway Josefsøn!”

Nope on outta there.

Elon Musk was cited fleeing the scene.

Funny, they still seem to be attaching service bays to Japanese car dealers as well.  I wonder why that could be...?

Gets in 200k mile Mark VIII and roars off.

Right, because proactively recalling prior to any reports of injuries screams “they don’t give a shit.” Also right, correct - no Japanese automakers issue recalls. Ever.

*Thinks back to Corolla that ate 2 engines and 3 transmissions under warranty, while being a general rattle trap all around*

*Laughs in blown Subaru head gaskets*

SHIT TONS OF SALT YO. 

There are so many jurisdictions (Port Authority of NY, Town of Weehawken, and Union City) that I am not sure which one would be the right one.

Let me drop a little lawyer on you:

Q: You’re 70 now?

A: That’s correct

Q: So, we’re to believe you’re a gentle-driving retiree, is that it?

A: Why, yes, sonny, that’s right.

We have beam-riding missiles. Can’t we have an oopsy where a missile goes off course and obliterates one of these shabby dinghies?

Turn one or two into a spreading oil slick. Issue an official non-apology along with a reminder that interfering with missile guidance during an exercise can cause owies.

Couple retaliatory Hellfire missile strikes will fix this shit quick. 

I wish our military had some sort of weapon capable of sinking a fishing boat.