All I need to wage war in my office is a stack of TPS reports...

I'm guessing that some officer was probably using them to keep tabs on someone he had a crush on.

Sometimes you have to go with the classics.

Vladimir Putin looks badass no matter what he is doing.

Honestly officer, I wasn't trying to grope her. I was just trying to answer the phone!

Do we really want the man who brought us the Aliens franchise to be supporting a mining operation in space? Sure he says he'll be bringing back precious metals but what do you think he's really looking for out there?

I guess that's what happens when you wash their mouths out with soap...

Ah, so I can continue stealing food from the office fridge and not worry that it makes me a jerk. Yay!

If anyone has enough cajones to drive that car they can rest assured that getting a speeding ticket will be highly unlikely.

Oh come on now. Someone has to win afterall...

Given that I have 2 large and very active dogs the lifespan of any light bulb in my house is significantly decreased. Therefore I stock up on the cheapest incandescents that I can find for all of my desk and floor lamps.

Well, it was made in China...

So this is how it starts...

Does this mean that Tony Stark's suit will fall apart?

Some people need all the help they can get...

Now, if you'll kindly lean your endangered carcass over my property line, we'll call your untimely demise 'self defense'.

This one will give you the reason for why he's hanging by his banana hammock...

I also thought of this as well...

I've done things I'm not proud of.