Tasers? That thing needs a pair of light machine guns on it.

Cox is banned?

What do you do when your 250 lb. Great Dane dies?

Apple's lobbyists must have worked overtime for that one.

I'm sorry but that cheeky grin of his makes me think that he's really the Joker in disguise...

If someone is really going after you and you can't get away I would suggest punching their collarbone as hard as possible too, as that is it is easy to target and it is one of the easiest bones to break.

This guy looks close enough that he could be used as a double.

Well when you spend all your money on the car and on gas...

I'd be more inclined if I got the goat. I'd never have to mow my lawn...

What? No Swiss Army Knife?

This is usually only happens when a man has a high life insurance policy and a desperate housewife...

This is actually a pretty brilliant idea, I can't believe that it hasn't been done before.

"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

It looks like what you would get if you swallowed a jar of (mostly gold) glitter and then had to throw up. Just looking at that paint job (if you can call it that) is almost enough to make me hurl.

I was thinking of a different General Lee at first...

Hmm, let me guess...

Nah, the storm chasers are the ones who are really prepared.