This is every job I’ve ever worked.

Shut the fuck up with your bad-faith interpretations of their articles.

This one isn’t as good as Adele’s theme from Skyfall, is MILES better than that bloody cheezefest from Chris Cornell (RIP) that sounded dated the minute it premiered, but can never touch Duran Duran’s View To A Kill.

Likely story. Jason - and all of Jalopnik - has been in the pocket of Big Otter Jizz for years now.

My read is that Ortberg equated pedophilia with homosexuality as well as gender dysphoria, so his take was that the parishioner was trying to get better but Lavery and his wife weren't, since they transitioned. "How can you understand someone trying to fight their immorality when you decided to embrace yours" type of…

There were a couple of times recently Danny gave some pretty awful advice and I remember someone in the comments gently wondering if there was something going on in his personal life, now I’m even more impressed with that person’s insight.

dear lort, there are levels upon levels of fuckery here

Good for Danny!  I love his advice column and had no idea he had this kind of background. It's hard to do the right thing when your parents are on the wrong side. 

As someone who is immunocompromised, may I just say: I hope she gets an infected ingrown taint hair that doesn’t heal right for at least a month. 

You can tell Megyn didn’t see the film. The movie pretty much lambasted Downey’s character as an actor that got so into his role that he thought that doing that was a good idea. I mean in the last act of the film Downey’s character realizes how fucking dumb he is and wrong he was to demean others with stereotypical…

Megyn, the joke in Tropic Thunder was directed at stupid White assholes wearing Blackface, not at Black people. There’s this thing called context, which happens to be very important. You and Justin Trudeau can take a long walk off a short pier with your White nonsense.

These two seem really damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t.

They want to get off the dole, essentially, and make their own money. Something people have been hollering for royals to do for ages, especially tangential ones like the families of second sons.

But now that he made a move to get off the dole, people say his…

Right? Like an ACTUAL Nazi. Not just a sympathizer, and not an unfortunate resident of a country that had already fallen victim to it, but a real live breathing Nazi. The Queen Mother’s lifelong hatred for her (and subsequent refusal to give her HRH) has a helluva lot more to do with that than because she married a…

Her and Coco Chanel. All the cute little bios of her cropping up these days don’t seem to linger over that.

But that didn’t happen and he spent much time and ink asking, repeatedly, for Wallis to get an “HRH”.  So he may have expected the nation to call him back or for the Nazis to help him back but, in the end, he still wanted her to have that HRH.

Sure, but I’m pretty sure Edward was banking on the Nazis winning and installing him as the new king/head of England without the whole family baggage.

Fuck the monarchy as a general rule, but damn it’s wild whenever a story involving Wallis Simpson doesn’t also note that she was, you know, a Nazi. Kinda one of those things that should follow your name around forever. 

The only letters Wallis Simpson probably wanted were ‘SS’, so that was probably a good call.

It’s not petty. It actually means something with regards to placement, money, and respect.

Correct answer: When the responding officer arrived at the scene, he took one look at Suzy and decided that based on her appearance she must have been asking for it. Based on this assumption, he never offered to collect a rape kit. He gathered no physical evidence, made one attempt to get a copy of the video from the…