This is quite a coup on the part of the Texans. It’s almost impossible to trade away a guy with a name like “Jadeveon Clowney” and get a better name in return, but “Barkevious Mingo” definitely fills that void. That’s at least a top 50 all time NFL name. For a linebacker, it’s practically onomatopoeia.

Higher chance of him having to eat a bear’s ass in prison

If he had ended up on teh cowboys and Emmitt was on the lions Barry would have had 25k yards rushing and emmitt would have been a night manager at a bowling alley after 3 years in the league.

Twas a bad day to be orange. 

No she wouldnt. She’s got a very low opinion of Trump.

And how sweet for Rapinoe, no shrinking from the noise and backed it up time and time again on the field, unflappable on PKs.

The floodgates opened up after that.

Crystal Dunn was the Player of the Match, though.

Just make it Deadspin’s version of The Onion’s mass shooting article

Don’t be so possessive.

yeah, no, you’re wrong. If you think the parent of that kid doesn’t know what a terror the child is being, then your head is crammed so far up your ass you can floss with your chest hair. 

This was one of the greatest games I’ve ever watched and the single greatest feat was pulled off by my wife. We’re watching the 3rd overtime from a small town on the coast and we’re out of beer and the only store that sells it is a quarter mile away and closes at 11. At 10:50 with the blazers down 5 with 8 or so…

... a fourth-line pest is stuck inside the body of that 100-point man.

I remember the up-and-coming (and scary) New York Islanders stumbling and falling in the ‘78 and ‘79 playoffs, even with their roster littered with Hall of Famers like Bryan Trottier, Clarke Gillies, Denis Potvin and young goal-scoring phenom Mike Bossy. As a young Canadiens fan, I let out a sigh of relief when they…

Hockey is just the best goddamn sport.

Blue Jackets fan here since the day they were announced, so man, this felt good. 

fitting coda to this whole saga

Yeah, but you need college football to get molested.

To adopt the morality of the NFL you have be totally certain and totally confused at the same time.