“We’re trying to move away from the O.J. Bronco thing. This is called the Escape.”

Priority 3) Kick a certain New York billionaire in the sack a few times.

Imagine you could go back in time and tell people making that ad about 2017.

I love this dude. Born in 1914. Still sharp of mind and mobile. We should all be so lucky.

I do.

• A cop car that weighs at least 2 tons slams into the tiniest compact that you can currently buy at 104mph.

Dude shake it off it happens to the best of them. You weren’t the first and you damn sure won’t be the last

what was the end result. Always wondered what happend after someone wrecks a test drive.

You wrecked a dealer car on a test drive? Good lord man.

Everyone: “So, Kristen, tell us how it really went down.”

Don’t kink shame.

The SM is basically what a Lexus would be if it were designed by interesting people.

“Powered by a 3.0-liter Maserati V6, it rides on a hydropneumatic self-leveling and adjustable oil suspension” - my wallet just committed suicide. Screw you Patrick, not gonna do it.

Right? Maybe if the train tracks were next to a nursing home....

The aftermath—buttermint candy littered all over the place—would make any kid ignore their parents’ warnings about playing on train tracks.

Not that bad, but it’s about as formulaic as porn gets.

AKA “The NSX Brazzers Edition”

$60k in 1991 money with inflation would be $107k in 2017 money. The original NSX was still expensive back in the day so it was not like it was a cheap car to begin with.

Don’t forget the 4 million illegal votes that the Dems generated in California.

Once again, commas help context. Like, “Tonight I’m gonna eat out, mom.” Versus, “Tonigh I’m gonna eat out mom.”