Here’s the plan. Announce that you have hired me, a complete industry outsider to revamp the entire image of Chrysler. Make it international news how innovative and out-side the box I am. Then tomorrow when the fact that 90% of my posts on Jalopnik have been either fart jokes or Beavis and Butthead GIFs. Make…

He's so used to not seeing anybody from inside his car he thinks other people can't see out their cars either

Payday loans don’t actually let poor people dig themselves out of any kind of financial holes. All payday loans do is make the hole bigger. They serve no legitimate purpose.

There are plenty of things we as a society can do to help people who are in need get through financial crises, and predatory loans are nowhere on…

I get what you’re saying, but I’m pretty sold on this engine tower concept I’ve got going.

B. One on top of the other.

It’s his own fault. If he lived in the US, he wouldn’t have had health insurance so he couldn’t have had surgery. Problem solved.

That owning two minivans doesn’t make me less a man.

This is where us Jalopys get mad.

I’m very excited for the day when our generation is spending six figures on, like, a “third off the line” Honda Prelude SH at auction.

Riggs + Murtaugh = A Lethal Weapon

I share my birthday with your mom.

Also Macaulay Culkin.

We have cake and play Trivial Pursuit. It’s nice.

It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.

God Damn It!

“The Niña”

It can be rough being the butt of so many fumbled jokes

Explanation: balls are funny.

I would assume that’s so the kids don’t look directly at the eclipse, though that is taking it a little far.

If those teachers truly do believe that sunlight is somehow more dangerous during an eclipse, then I don’t know what to say. I guess Betsy Devos works fast? :(

If you find the car, you can give the Porsche-misplacer named Justin a call at 732-865-2065.

The person who came up with one-spoke steering wheels didn’t let anybody else talk at meetings.

This is how I feel about essential oils.