OMG I love him he’s like if the doge dog and double rainbow man came to life!

The best thing about Miley Cyrus has always been Vanessa Bayer’s impersonation of Miley Cyrus.

I’ve posted this on here before, but it’s worth reposting. It’s from an article called “Watch Your Language,” but child advocate/lawyer/writer Andrew Vachss:

GREAT DANES ARE THE BEST! I would like to have another one. This one.

Ryan Reynold is allegedly funny.

I guess you’ve never heard of GloboGym?

My bf sometimes can’t go down on me because he has terrible tmj. He also sometimes can’t eat solid foods or talk so I’m willing to believe his excuses.

My BF hated my mouth guard when I first got it, “why can’t you just stop grinding your teeth?” Did not understand the clenching and why I didn’t just choose to keep my teeth apart. Until I explained to him that it would teach the muscles in my jaw to relax, and that meant I would be able to enjoy BJ’s again. He still…

Oh heavens, I feel you on the TMJ BJs from hell.

Oh, gawd, the TMJ! Fucking Jenny Bartrug throwing that fucking softball underhand, catching me square under the left jaw creating lifelong blowjob-giving issues. >:-{

so I am not the only one?! Thank gd.

Right? It’s not called a blow vacation. Or a blow walk in the park.

Okay.

The mental picture of Mariah Carey rocking Ariana Grande’s cradle is IRRESISTIBLE.

Fuck you, Ariana Grande. I can’t eat donuts because gluten makes my insides die and there you are WASTING them. And then, on top of everything, you insult America? No, honey. I casually disliked you before, but now I hope Mariah Carey tips your cradle over one night.

The someone put a few donuts in a bag and she screamed “OMG THE DONUTS DISAPPEARED!”

well like

This is hilariously stupid. Spinning it to be about childhood obesity is fucking genius though. I want to get high with this girl

w/e you say adult baby Ariana