Bitch Better Have My Money!

Is life really this grim? This joyless? Is private voting in a democracy an experiment destined to collapse upon itself like a dying star because human nature is bleak, dark and angry?

I see Neil Patrick Harris in 15 years.

Except Cat has green eyes whereas Stacy has brown. Otherwise, TWINS.

In my opinion, the cat does resemble Elle McPherson.

I wish I didn't know, if that helps at all. I cannot believe the one and only time I've ever corrected a Jezebel writer, it was over the mother effing kardashians. Fuck.

Who are the blond people in the addendum photo?

Fortunately the fire wasn't practicing proper ujjayi breathing, severely limiting its oxygen supply.

GET THE MAYOR OF TELEVISION ON THE PHONE!

Maybe he's full of muppets?

I hate that I'm typing this, but GWB was better looking than Ted Cruz.

I hope you're right because I sure as HELL don't want to look at his hideous, dough boy face for four years.

I think the larger question is how will he balance career and family?

Please star this comment if you think it's actually fucking adorable that one of Ted Cruz's daughter's first sentence was "I like butter."

He's probably going to elope with Bob.

yeah, nothing will ever be as funny as this, which is one of the all-time most hilarious things I've ever read on the Internet (which I just found by googling "fucking her ass saving her life," shout out to Google)

This dress is really cute and the stripes are smartly placed.

One of my best Etsy purchases of all time is a scarf that was sent out as a Reader Service subscriber's gift. It's quite a fetching scarf!

That guy looks like Victor Newman, that son of a bitch!

Couple of notes on sourcing!