Read it again, dipshit. I am responding to Barry’s assertion that Beckham got so tired that he couldn’t catch a ball. Although Beckham is a jerkoff, I have no doubt that he is in excellent shape and wouldn’t be so exhausted by six seconds of running that he’d just forget how to play football. Jesus Christ I hate the…

You’re welcome to think whatever you want, there are people who think 9/11 is a hoax too...I’m telling you that not everybody who comments on Deadspin is a pussy who can’t run for more than 2 minutes per hour. You’re projecting. Have another Christmas cookie.

Don’t know what you’re responding to here, but thanks so much for your input, I guess!

Since you’re taking him so literally, did you see him pumping 93 octane into his throat after the game? Did he pre-pay with cash or swipe his Amex at the pump?

I know you’re just being dramatic, but five seconds is not very much time at all. If you think you’d quit after five reps you’re a huge pussy.

Well in order to match Beckham’s performance I’d have three hours to do it. I think I’ll just go run two miles and then take the remaining two hours and fifty minutes to sit here and watch Netflix.

“50 30+ yard dashes” over THREE HOURS, on 88 plays. Let’s call that 4 seconds of hard running per play (it’s not, because on a lot of them he jogs a yard or two and throws a half-assed block).

I’m not questioning his physical status, I’m questioning the writer’s understanding of it.

Accounts of guys who only have to run for five seconds at a time being “too exhausted” are laughable.

In my day, you had to PAY for goods and services. You goddamn millennials expect everything for free!

“wasn’t in the spirit” is a fucking incredible thing for a company who ran an international scam to fool emissions requirements to say. Jesus.

Drew, I came here to tell you you’ve become a big-city sissy for not getting a real tree. Then I read about the spiders. Will be buying a fake tree next year.

Don’t you dare get in the way of Deadspin’s Boston hatred with your logic.

Oh jesus I think he’s serious.

Because buying a cool car isn’t an investment in your future...?

Only when it’s an excuse to try and bash a competitor.

I think Sherman would complain about literally anything at this point.

Yeah no offense but you didn’t avoid this type of thing by being a great guy, you avoided it because you’re too old.

My favorite part of the old HBO 24/7 series was having guys mic’d for the trash talking. Mike Rupp yelling “You’re fuckin’ irrelevant out here” at Jody Shelley, who is indeed irrelevant in modern hockey.