Maybe this will entertain you.

Let Melanoma and her baby ten year old move there, too. (Or anywhere, just get them out of NYC.)

If you’re in NYC, go to some of Yamuna’s classes. If you’re not, here’s the next best thing.

Everyone raves about Harney tea, but I think most of the ones I’ve tried are kind of “eh.” Most of their herb teas barely color the water, no matter how hot it was and how long you steep. The exception is their raspberry, which is strong and delicious, and turns a bright, stain-the-counter red. Also, the nylon teabags…

Also, SALT!

You see, Catholics? Those crackers aren’t enough. You’ve got to step up your game.

Nitza Villapol is the chef who fascinates me. I think her story would make an excellent movie. I recently made her Chicken Fricasse and it was frickin’ delicious. http://www.saveur.com/article/kitchen/my-search-for-nitza

Back in the days of landlines, I had just moved to a new city, gotten a new phone number, and it rang. A familiar voice started telling me all the things he wanted to do with me. Thinking it must be a friend goofing around, I kept trying to place the very familiar voice. I finally realized it was familiar because he…

I always thought that thing about the Avon Lady ringing the doorbell, coming in and making money might be about something else. I have a dirty mind. Tinkerbell, indeed!

No need to deal with the “evangelical army wife.” Just go to Ebay, where you can buy the stuff at a discount from someone who is trying to get rid of boxes of it stored in their garage.

I have a friend who recently got involved with one of these multilevel sales things. She invited me to her “launch” which was done over Skype, with a few shills in the organization talking about how using the products made their hair better, gave them energy, etc.

Getting live-in help for an Alzheimer’s patient is expensive. Having Ivanka do it for free is saving the taxpayers money!

My Side of the Mountain and Andy Buckram’s Tin Men. Why they’ve never been made into movies is beyond me.

In fairness, waiters hate Canadians, too, because of their reputation for not tipping.

This suggestion might be ass-backward but I’d give it a try. Go to Linked in and search people with your name or a name that sounds of similar foreign descent and at least a mid-management position. Look at where they work. Find which companies seem like a good fit and are in a location that’s do-able. Send a snail…

My childhood was in a tedious little Wisconsin town. My adulthood is in NYC. Adulthood wins by a lot!

My father was dying and I thought it would give him comfort to tell him that my boyfriend and I were engaged. It wasn’t exactly true, but we were living together. When boyfriend phoned, I asked if he would talk with Dad. I took the opportunity to leave the room and go for a short walk. Dad was pretty foggy by this…

This confuses me. If you’re going to have sex on a fur coat, wouldn’t you want to be rolling around on the fur side? Why would it have semen on the lining?

If you’re of a certain age, you know the tune: BO...NO...MO...Bonomo. Oh, Oh, Oh...It’s Turkish Taffy. My favorite. I loved slamming the bar down on the counter to break it up. After being off the market for years, they’ve started selling it again. But it’s now it’s a little softer. There’s an awful age-related joke…

We had black licorice in the shape of little babies -- called “licorice babies” in my home. My mom freaked when I called them by the name I learned from my nextdoor neighbor’s mom, “N-word babies.”