Remember how you could blow through the empty box and it would make a squeeking noise?

“That’s what was told to me.” is one of President FartMouth’s favorite answers when he gets caught in a lie.

I witnessed an argument in a steamroom when a woman decided it was fine to shave her legs in there. It was not.

I predict that Trump will be shot at by someone who voted for him and is angry about being lied to and disrespected.

You can bet that if Donald knows about the site, he looks at in in order to rate the women. (And also to see if he can get some free ass when Melania’s off the clock.)

Here’s my advice as a non-drinker. Order water with lime, so it looks like a drink and jerks don’t bug you about not drinking. Tip the bartender well.

Who the hell would take fashion advice from Kellyanne Conway?

People who say, “Can I be honest with you...” are people who generally tell lies.

Perhaps his asshole is already sewn shut, given that he farts and spews shit out of his mouth.

Even if people with dementia don’t have a future to look forward to or a past they can remember, they have the present, and sometimes little things can be enjoyed. It doesn’t matter if they can’t remember that someone was there the day before. It’s not like you have to rack up points for visits. And yes, they may…

Oh, man! I start to feel happy seeing the words “Trump” and “dead” in the same sentence, and then once again I am disappointed.

Remove your shoes? What are you, some kind of Japanese Yoga foreigner?

Makes one wonder about how contaminated his Trump Steaks were. But I still think the most contamination will come from cook’s/waiter’s saliva. And a lot of waiters have no insurance. I knew a waiter who had to work while he had hepatitis. I’d love for Dump to see a visual of just how much miscellaneous secretion he’s…

I loved the Pippi Longstocking books. The orphan fantasy was one of my favorites, even though I had loving parents. Also a fan of My Side of the Mountain.  The desire to be out on my own started very young.  

I get spam to enlarge my penis (I don’t have one.) and recently got one for “Christian investing.” I don’t know much about religion, but even I know that Jesus was poor as shit.

Every time I see him in a picture with food, I think about how likely it is that the cook and/or waitress spit in it.

Alec Baldwin so at a glance he actually looks like Trump. And an Ivanka look alike. And catch them on camera making out.

My aunt, who was busty, taught me that women with big breasts get stains on their blouses while smaller breasted women get them on their pants, because that’s where food falls. 

Barron -- Anchor

Check out Irenaworks on Etsy. I’ve bought a lot of pillows from her and the quality of fabric and workmanship is fantastic. I buy the covers and just put a foam pillow inside. Her prices are good and even though she is in Lithuania, they get here fast.