I plan on tricking him into giving it to us.

I would like to take a moment to pay tribute to my father, Marine Corp Colonel Samuel Tillett for his courageous and near fatal actions, attempting to save as many lives as possible 15 years ago today in his position as head of security at The Pentagon. When the plane hit my father was not but a hundred feet from the…

My hope is for Marshawn Lynch to do an annual Super Bowl segment for Conan from now on.

On the networks, yes. Conan, on the other hand, is excellent. When he gets out and interacts with people, he’s the king. Drivers ed with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart and his trips to Cuba and the Koreas and Clueless Gamer are great examples.

Between Fallon and James Corden’s race for #viral #content, Seth Meyers going for “clapter” (aka the thing he openly denounced once upon a time) every monologue, and Stephen Colbert going unwatched, late-night on the networks sucks now.

Meh, can’t blame Osweiler for being pissed off that he got benched in favor of a dead guy. A dead guy that had been cockblocking his playing time for years.

The problem with this blog is that this has never happened, ever, to anyone.

Murder For Pizza, Hot Cup of Poison, BeerTot and Too Fat to Die: this Saturday night at Jimmy’s Punk Rock Palace!

Hmmm, here’s my take:

Stop calling it that. Milk has a scientific definition. It cannot be secreted from almonds, soy, or your over-inflated ego.

Only correct take on the subject.

Dude, fuck almond milk. It’s too thin and almonds are bullshit.

“I could buy this house, I don’t fucking need you.”

Apartments have noise restrictions, sounds like he didn’t read his lease.

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If you find any pokemon sexy to begin with, you have bigger problems than donald trump.

you can see the Flying Elbow Cop thinking “THIS IS IT! THE MOMENT I’VE TRAINED MY WHOLE CAREER FOR! THE PEOPLES ELBOW!!!!”

Shit, The Bay Area!

I do miss being able to say “That’s gay”.