Please go back and read the ingredients in the two sample menu items above.

So which one are you, ignorant, stupid, or racist?

If I didn’t know this was serious journalism, I might say you seem to have a favorite in all this.

Prince Ruprecht, I find myself agreeing with you. It’s an auspicious day.

Did you really just equate being fired for being a horrible, hateful racist in public with being tortured and executed for eyeballing somebody the wrong way? Damn.

This is great news. Losing your transportation is often the thing that sends people over the edge into a cycle of hopelessness. And while it happens to poor people of all races, you have to be ignorant, stupid, racist, or all three not to see how the law enforcement here in NC disproportionally penalizes black people.

I love him in the Ocean’s movies. I like the line about enjoying working with some real villains.

Now that I’ve read about this you can bet that the next time I’m in end-stage heart failure I’ll just say a big NO THANK YOU to the risk of some cursed organ.

And yes, that would have been an acceptable answer. So would guacamole, fish sauce, raw white vinegar and butter.

I, too, am a No/Mustard! This could be like the new Myers-Briggs.

I kind of hope it is Chipotle. I hate Chipotle.

John Goodman and Laurie Melcalf might never work again!

My favorite fact about how passenger pigeons became extinct is that it had a lot to do with the fact that they were delicious and absurdly easy to catch. They were very attractive as a food, especially during hard economic times. A resurrected population might not last long in the wild.

Absolutely this! I hear traces of Ornette and all manner of weirdness in this album and I’m only half way through it! And still with the extended butt jokes! God save George Clinton.

Florida Man strikes again!

You know that isn’t REALLY Florida Man. It is just one of his avatars. The real Florida Man is an unseeable malevolent spirit, sort of like Pennywise, who haunts the state and then will suddenly take over the bodies of pathetic, drunk, white guys to commit heinous acts. You can tell by how when they sober up they…

If that happened to me I think I would be too focused on the whole zombie thing to worry about much else.

You just called “Wonderful Christmastime” “unjustly maligned”. After that my brain went dark.

New Parliament! OMG you have given me reason to live another day! That is only a slight exaggeration! I had a dream last night that I was dancing to “Flashlight” at work and now this.

Total Recall, Minority Report, The Dead, The Shawshank Redemption, Brokeback Mountain