I’ll thank you to refer to that man by his proper name of “Handjob Bob” or “Bobby Two Strokes” in the future please.

That’s My Raiders™, indeed.

You're too kind. I just hope I don't go broke doing it, because I actually *am* making the investments.

Oh, they’re pretty much all there. It’s funny you should mention Pennywise, though; cause I just started a new series where he’ll soon be making a cameo appearance.

[cue audience hooting and hollering]

[cue “awwww” studio audience reaction]

It’s important to note that this was the predicted hurricane track from August 31 - the day BEFORE Trump told the nation that it would be hitting Alabama. He has dementia, and it's gone from bad to worse.

I'd argue that “convicted sex offender Brock Turner” is more accurate.

I prefer to refer to him as UNREPENTANT Stanford Rapist Brock Turner just to ensure that people don’t get confused with a different Stanford Rapist Brock Turner who might have actually demonstrated some semblance of remorse for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman, as opposed to the Stanford Rapist Brock Turner…

I like this a great deal. You might think about editing and repackaging this a bit and publishing it at, say, Medium or something. I feel like gun owners will only ever listen to other gun owners, and there's a lot in here that they need to consider. 

Oh no! What are you, worried that now the inside of your garbage can is gonna smell bad?

I do this with recyclables like cans, because not only do I get the self-satisfaction of having made my neighborhood cleaner, but I get a shiny nickel for having done so!

I misremembered JCVD giving a speech at some point where he taunted the crowd, so I pretty much watched the whole thing too, hunting for something that wasn’t there.

Everything he’ll ever need can be found right here:

Deputy Frederick G. Jackson attempted to chase them down, but, uh, it didn’t work out.

Pete Carroll and John Schneider concluded their successful heist by hopping in their getaway car, jumping over a river, and running for the county line.

Listen, just because I don't want a former Buccaneer using the same bathroom as me doesn't mean I'm prejudiced. I'm just scared of getting MRSA, that's all.

Even George R. R. Martin looks at what Grigson did to Luck and says “damn, did you really have to torment him so much?”

That’s a great idea, but it’s getting awfully crowded up in those rafters.