“HAW HAW HAW LOOKIT HIM GIT THAT THEM THERE BIRD THAT’S SOME FUNNY STUFF!!!”

Which version of Deadspin was that, exactly?

The next time I play Clue I have to remember to suggest that it was done by "Mr. Green, in the testicles, with the left foot."

Jesus, that sound, man. It's like something out of a kung fu movie.

I didn’t get it until I read your comment, so go have yourself a beer and put it on my tab.

Don’t sweat it, man, the housekeeper has been rejecting my advances too.

Counterpoint: Peyton has demonstrated that he will do anything if the price is right.

The existence of the “Groom of the Stool” is the most fascinating thing I expect to learn about this year.

I hope he said something cool as he took the gunman down, like “sorry, son. You just entered a Lowe security area.”

Yep, I feel like this is a pleasant way to close off my internet day. Nothing but music and drinkin’ until basketball starts tonight.

“...all I’m saying is that Mr. Burns created jobs.”

Probably my favorite piece of yours I’ve ever written.

“This is some pretty heavy stuff.”

It’s no secret that the white population in this country is shrinking to smaller and smaller proportions. Even though I myself am as white as you can get (suburban Connecticut represent!) I enjoy diversity in my world, so seeing America trend less and less white brings me no small amount of joy.

Yeah, all the talk about trajectory and spin is silly, in my opinion. All that mattered is the radial angle at which it hit the rim, which was PERFECT and can be credited to Leonard, and the vertical angle at which it hit the rim, which was one-in-a-million and can be credited to Lady Luck*.

Even if Hanser makes sure the video never goes public (spoiler alert: he will), I’m not going to ever let this go (the way a certain masseuse did with Kraft’s limp penis after he ejaculated) until the day he dies. I’m talking about actual death, not “la petite mort” as the French would refer to the orgasm Kraft had…

Well thank you ever so much for ruining my day.

“Trust us, you don't. It's not fun." - Buffalo area sex crime investigators

This is a pretty cool idea, especially since wildfire had become vastly more destructive at the same time the dragons returned.

By contrast, today is a wonderful day if you’re a Nets fan like our old pal Pink Skull.