I’m gonna get so drunk so I black out (basically, Brett Kavanaugh-level drunk) and when I come to the next morning I’ll get to experience the joy of the news a second time!

That’s awesome. It reminds me of how I was 100% certain I could break 5.0 in the forty yard dash. 

I’d love to know what’s the peak speed (in mph) I’ve ever hit while skiing/snowboarding. I bet it’s less than half of what these athletes do through a routine turn while aiming to pass within inches of the next gate.

Well at least teams didn’t focus on the “has a Russian girlfriend” aspect of Sean McVay because otherwise we’d start seeing the growth of a Marina Butina coaching tree.

Your problem is that you've been trying to do it all at once. Start by getting filthy, and once you've handled that you can worry about the next phase.

Now do one for money that can be traced back to Russian oligarchs.

Brett Kavanaugh has filed for his own trademark on the “Bench Bawler Brand.”

Dude, there’s 2700+ words before you even bring the prospect of advantage up! Some of us have jobs, you know.

Advantage is the only sensible solution, and then just be a lot more liberal with the "intentional foul" designation for fouls that are designed to break up fast breaks or are too rough.

My response to you is this: Fuck Brett Kavanaugh.

When I said that someone should “send a piece of metal in Incognito’s direction” that is not exactly what I had in mind.

I haven’t seen a trophy get messed up that badly since Donnie No-Wall unplugged Melania while she was still installing updates.

Everyone’s favorite internet smart guy Pink Skull had some thoughts on this. He even wrote down some words about it!

Re: doorfliesopen (putting it way back here so it doesn't clutter up the active thread) - did you register as something other than Pick and Rhizone? Cause I'm not seeing that in the "pending approval" section, but there are some others.

The two passes prior to that were much weaker than the cross.

Aw, that is very kind of you but I already have a gig over at DoorFliesOpen.

He believes the bit about the smugglers and the duct tape because he believes it, and because he believes it now he will never stop believing it.

There are plenty of people that can’t float $1,100 for “just in case” scenarios, but yeah, it’s a really bad idea to not have at least a pair of twenties on hand for an emergency.

You should *always* have cash on you, what are you going to do when you have to bribe someone?

It’s more of a feature than a bug - if you’ve got a card with $3.14 in Itchy and Scratchy money and the cheapest item is $5.00, so you refuse to reload your card, the ballpark is the one that wins because they get to hang onto your $3.14.