No chance a vampire will agree to turn you - you may find blood in your semen icky, but it would make you a legend in their circles, as they’d willingly queue around the block for the chance to drop to their knees and get a mouthful of your “vampires delight”

Who took away your fucking Snickers?  

I just died

Should be “than” not “then” in the headline...

I don’t think your wife is uber-vanilla if she’s willing to peg you. 

It’s popular opinion, but wow did Pesci steal the show for me in Irishman...

Wait, are you trying to tell me that a Martin Scorsese-directed gangster film, starring a bevy of older and well-respected A-list actors, won an award, and is probably going to be given several other awards?

Man I’d be really upset if the good name of “America’s got Talent” was in some way tarnished. 

“I could care less”

and 419 want to buy it used.

Y’all ain’t nothin’

New York’s hottest club is The AV. Opened by Hulk Hogan’s vengeful ghost and his vampire pal, it has everything: Freaks, Geeks, and that weird sucking sound made by your affiliated sister sites shutting down one after the other.

Rock 2020.

This is a very sad story. This lawsuit will be thrown out.

Hi Honda,

I voted for Cadillac but my real vote is “an unlisted third option.”

Well, besides the fact they make underperforming and overpriced cosplay accessories for weekend pirates/leather daddies.

Is your life backed by a mambo score? That would seem to be crucial to a "real life Ted".

They aren’t just Photoshopped, they’re poorly Photoshopped. Look at how awful the rear brake/wheel looks in the first shot.