Well, on the one hand they're all liars.

Ummm, they currently control 2/3 of the government branches. Although something as simple as hookers wouldn't get any of them to resign either

It seems to me like it’s entirely about illegal sexual abuse. Maybe you’re just trolling, or maybe you’re Rick Pitino!

Is this guy running for the GOP nomination? Because I’m pretty sure he has the entire checklist right there.

Gin is my drink of choice, and my saying of choice when drinking martinis is “One is too many, and two’s not enough”. God, does it hurt in the morning though. Also, Vodka is for babies.

I bet it’s Draper’s bag

It’s good to see that he’ll be okay. He’ll be as good as new if he just does some of Jillian Michaels fitness tips and maybe gets himself a new razor from dollar shave club.

I have a feeling that this type of behavior from a jewelry store in Wisconsin will actually help it to get more customers rather than lose any.

“For the discriminating Rand Paul wine drinker”

My favorite promo word they used was TRAP

Everyone knows you can’t rate things on a 1-10 scale at a 5. Doing that is the same as not rating it at all. pick a side!

It’s funny how baseball makes “villains” out of A-Rod and Pete Rose, yet here they are talking about baseball (or trying to) on tv. Don’t they just feel like they’re being hired as circus freaks at this point since they’ve been so coldly welcomed by MLB itself? I have no problem with either one, and I guess they both…

Good for this guy. I know he’s had drinking troubles, but those sometimes go away with age, so next year when he’s 58 he should be a Chinese All-Star

Forgotten in all of this is that the Dodgers are actually better off without him playing.

Yeah, one day it’s wearing a pink arm band, the next thing you know people are marrying their dogs.

I liked it when he compared Michael Jordan to a ballerina. Oh that was a different movie. Fuck this guy

I feel like you’re close to plagiarizing Mr. Baseball. Not that I don’t love it.

Joey Tallywacker - Smarter and better than everyone else.

It's only a full Goddell if he appeals to manfred

He does this shit all the time for me on the Mexico City Conquistadors in Madden.