It surprises me that he hasn’t directed a movie since 2010, when that movie made over $700 million (even if it blew, though from what I’ve heard it’s at least the best of the Twilights.)

He also did some eps of American Gods which looked fantastic as well

He directed the pilot (and other episodes) of Hannibal (the TV show with the greatest visuals outside of maybe Twin Peaks: The Return) and helped define that series’ visual language. Sadly TV directors are underknown, just like screenwriters for movies.

It would explain the bloatage as his body began to fill with decomposition gasses.

I’d like to propose the hypothesis the Steven Seagal is dead. The Russians killed him between 15 and 20 years ago, then used clumsy, Soviet era, lightning-based technology to partially vivify his corpse for use in propaganda. They’ve been Weekend at Bernie’s-ing us with his flesh golem ever since.

“Wild Orchid” with Mickey Rourke also wants a word.

Unlike most of the moviegoing public at the time!

“What’s that old saying about sex being like pizza? Even when it’s bad, it’s still good?”

Oh Cannon, only you could take The Exorcist, a Ninja movie and Flashdance and come up with a script.

That is an amazing poster. Oh my! This man is so tall! All the women are instantly aroused by his prodigious height! The pope seems to be getting off on it a little too!

After watching that I can only assume the director was forced into product placement and got mad at it, so he tried to make sure no one would want to drink V8 ever again.

I read this wrong and was briefly shocked to learn that there was an awkward sex scene with an adult woman in one of the 3 Ninjas movies.

I have to see this movie now.

I understand, from a friend, that you can google that scene.

Regarding Body of Evidence, it’s also done in by the fact that Madonna is a terrible actor with dead eyes and a howling black void where normal people have charisma. She’s like a Monet painting: she’s entertaining enough on stage, from a distance; get close up and the larger picture dissolves into a series of random…

There’s a movie called Embrace of the Vampire, which starred Alyssa Milano in possibly the most ill-conceived transition from child star to “adult” roles in history. She has a couple of sex scenes, the first a lesbian hookup with (I think) Charlotte Lewis and the second with Martin Kemp as the titular blood-sucker.…

I’ve been on a bit of a *bad* movie spree lately, so am compelled to add the “V-8 seduction” scene from the batshit-insane, totally-80's Ninja 3: The Domination... (tho this YouTube clip stops short of revealing the extraordinarily hirsute nature of the cop character... yes, he’s a cop...)

There’s also a great ridiculous sex scene in the (no doubt) long forgotten “The Tall Guy” with Jeff Goldbloom and Emma Thompson (and Rowin Atkinson) where, during the course of sex they break a piano and do a complete 360 somersault in the air.

Well. . .when a need for cliched sex scene music and a low budget love each other very much. . .

The problem with Watchmen in general is that Snyder adapted the text of the story without understanding of the subtlety and nuances of the story.