And as for your grandma, she shouldn’t have mouthed off like that!

You’re right. You’re absolutely right. Hiring Hasselhoff was a mistake, that’s obvious. We’re far too over-dependant on automation. Now next time, everything’s correct, everything’s perfect. Next time it’ll be flawless.

Check out Mr. Optimist

I’d take Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington over the New York one

I think I speak for kids of all ages when I say...

negotiating tactic

I would have thought the real primo shit comes from Japan, but maybe they don’t bother with this stuff?

Ska-rew that

Good point. My own mom let strangers take me away and put me in a cage all the time. How else was she supposed to make sure that I would never see her again?

“It makes me wonder if the press and critics don’t want a movie to succeed because they incorrectly think we are glorifying John Gotti.”

I saw that fuck Steve Doocy try and make the “not technically cages” argument, saying some shit like they were really just walls made from chain link fence. But they’re not just walls. They have ceilings, made of the same chain link fence. The ceiling is there in case the animal child tries to climb out. That’s a…

You know what the title of that biopic should be? Yes I Can If Frank Sinatra Says It’s OK

Funny, I just finished rereading Goodbye, Columbus myself. I enjoyed its lack of fireworks, relative to the more, daring stuff that feels more classically Rothian (ie. Portnoy, Counterlife, Sabbath’s, his American trilogy). That said, there’s a long paragraph early on that made my jaw drop. It’s right after Neil is…

Congrats, that’s a tough one

I thought they should have put a warning on the first Incredibles after Elastigirl’s getting her back half stuck in that door gave me a weird boner but you don’t see me taking to Twitter about it. Some people!

Fox & Friends new hot take: “This would never have happened if there had been a wall!”

This show has always been a mess. The producers have been trying to turn bugs into features since it started.

Right after Murder, She Wrote

Are we counting ensemble movies? If so, I’ll speak up for The Thin Red Line, which IMDb.com tells me he was in. And Get Shorty was... OK?

• the “graceful lungs” of a swan