Hi, I’m here to talk about Apple Stores being rebranded as Apple Town Squares with Genius Groves inside.

Can I use Face ID with my wang? Asking for a friend—my wang. I will draw googly eyes on the boys if I have to.

See, THAT would have impressed me.

Its like a wiretap you paid for!

A grand’s worth of stuff you don’t need to impress people you don’t like.

At what point will companies take away the option to use a password instead of your face?

Same. I had to turn voice recognition off on my iphone because I have a (BAD and embarrassing!) habit of saying “are you SERIOUS?” in conversation and whenever I did, I would hear Siri respond “what can I help you with?” from way across the house or inside my purse under a table at a restaurant. Creeptastic.

I’m here to tell you that wireless charging is actually pretty dang awesome.

Even if I had a cool G for a new iphone X(i don’t), my OCD wouldn’t let me buy one until someone gave me an acceptable reason for them skipping past the iphone 9. Where’s the 9?!?!

Can I still just use a password to unlock it instead of my face? At what point will companies take away the option to use a password instead of your face?

My question: Will this fancy new face reader/scanner/whatever be optimized to recognize black/dark skinned faces? There are a plethora of studies and videos showing...issues tech companies have with this hurdle.

When I first saw this pic, I legit thought “omg, it can even spray a fine, refreshing mist!”

what freaked me out was how far i was and how quietly i said “alexa” and the bitch still picked it up. so no i don’t want this face spray thing.

Taraji is the real deal. When she’s shooting Empire she’s sometimes in Chicago. She was here a few months ago and paid a low key visit to a drop in center for LGBTQ youth. And it wasn’t a performative, media attention thing. The folks I know there said she is very real and an absolute delight.

I stay normal by leaving all my clothes in a giant pile on the floor as long as humanly possible, which has on more than one occasion meant buying new underwear before doing laundry and almost always means wearing my jeans for months at a time before dealing with them.

Another litter is on its way.

Slightly OT, but can we PLEASE retire “females” as a noun? It sounds just as obnoxious when it’s coming out of a woman’s mouth.

What if it’s a link to Ted Cruz’s favorite porn star?

Why would you click this?

“That keeps me normal. That keeps me feeling like, Yeah, I’m not too Hollywood.”