I just heard about 80 congress people skipped Nixon’s in 1973. Let’s see if we can match or beat that number.

“Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.”—Roger Ebert

Trump: B Street Band is not the same as original. SAD!!!

I swear to God, it’s like his mouth was replaced with a cat’s anus.

illegitimate PEOTUS can’t sell out own inauguration. weak leadership, total loser. sad!

Chicago has strict gun laws, the two neighboring states don’t.

The stereotype that white people always carry ranch dressing around with them is not cool anymore. When you say ‘He’s already got his, that white boy over there’” don’t just fucking assume I’m carrying my own ranch dressing around with me you hurtful monster. I need it for my tenders and when you assume that I already…

LaToya knows what’s up.

That settles it then.

Thank you for all your hard work Bobby

I was really hoping that was the guard before I read it.

This is a serious story, no unibrow jokes.

You took me by the hand

Fuck him.

Wait, you buy things...?

I think they should consider me for Secretary of State. I haven’t actually been out of the country, but I did have a passport (it expired, sad!). I have also watched a number of TV shows and movies set in other countries. I also learned German in high school (I’ve forgotten most of it).

I use money to buy things. Can I run a bank do you think?

Although I don’t have a medical degree and am a man, I’ve decided to pursue a head OB/GYN role since I spent the most formative parts of my life in utero. You’re an inspiration to us all, Dr. Carson.